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Canvey Island (the truth)

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31 replies to this topic

#1
offline Enfield_Massive432

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I hate Canvey Island!!!!! chainsaw gotcha

#2
offline The Great Eckscape

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I hate Shrewsbury Town

#3
offline richard sparkes

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thanks for that

#4
offline smallsy

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enfield massive what a sh1t post that was.
enfield = window licker land
hi gazza, mr happy, berbagod, bladerunner grin

#5
offline smallsy

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enfield massive what a sh1t post that was.
enfield = window licker land
hi gazza, mr happy, berbagod, bladerunner grin

#6
offline Mini Goose

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No one likes us, we Don't care.

How was ESL this year?

#7
offline Enfield_Massive432

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We met ur old pals concord there w*****

#8
offline The Gaffer from the Rock

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Originally Posted By: Enfield_Massive432
We met ur old pals concord there w*****


And it looks like you will still be there next year as well you pr1ck!! biglaugh

#9
offline Enfield_Massive432

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Well im just glade we put a stop to u moving up before we left and it dont look as if u will be making the move again this season. Isthmian League ur having a laugh. yay

#10
offline The Great Eckscape

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Easy Easy Easy!

#11
offline The Gaffer from the Rock

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Originally Posted By: The Great Eckscape


Some people make things so Easy Easy Easy!!!! brille008

#12
offline ShedBoy

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Quality!!



#13
offline Enfield_Massive432

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Wat are u pikeys on about?

#14
offline ShedBoy

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read and weap c ock!!

#15
offline Scuba Steve

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enfield massive or otherwise known as TWAT

#16
offline Guest_MOB Snr_*

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I remeber that game, wasnt their goal a fluke!!!!!

#17
offline YELLOW

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Enfield Massive is about as funny as Tony Lazarou but I expect he was still in his nappies when he was around.

#18
offline Enfield_Massive432

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Thats almost funny pikey boy.

#19
offline LOS

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Originally Posted By: The Great Eckscape


An awesome scoreline, with fond memories. Its great walloping teams, and even better for their fans to come on here inviting themsleves to be stitched up. What a muppet !!

Somewhat of a familiar face in the background of the photo in the link.

Fingers crossed, but hopefully soon "We'll be running round the Prem, running round the Prem, running round the Prem with our willies hanging out !!"

#20
offline Guest_MOB Snr_*

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NOW THIS IS WHAT A MATCH REPORT USED TO LOOK LIKE!!!!!!!




There have been times over this season when, perhaps, the team has let the supporters down with poor performances (Bishop's Stortford (a) and Slough (FA Cup) to name but two) but today, it has to be said, the supporters let the team down. Not the 334 who got off their arses and turned up at Park Lane, but the 1000+ glory hunters who managed to get to the Aldershot game and who turn up regularly for the FA Cup games. Well, sorry lads, you missed an absolute corker. A true team performance that turned in the biggest victory at Park Lane in my memory, two hat-tricks - one of which is the fastest ever recorded for the club (Brayley got 3 goals in 4 minutes).

What do these missing 'fans' want? Success? - Runners up for the third successive season is a great achievement. Goals? - 108 in a season is positively greedy. Good football? - Canvey invented sexy football and today it was so sexy, some of it is actually illegal in many American states and in the whole of Wales! Make no mistake, Canvey were awesome today. Whilst it is clear that Enfield are already relegated, it takes something extra to score ten goals at this level of football, and Canvey have that something extra. This season it has taken a long time to come and, it has to be said, the league title wasn't lost in the recent game against Aldershot, it was lost at all those home games earlier in the year. But yet again this must go down as a terrific season. Topped off with a ten-nil victory at the last home game of the term.

For those who did turn up, they action started very early on when Chris Duffy started a goalward run in the first minute but was up-ended by Matt Waldron who got his name into the book in record time. But if that attempt on goal was thwarted, it only took another minute before Lee Boylan collected the first of his four goals, courtesy of some hard work by SPOTS*, Jeff Minton. Mints did all the hard work out on the left and sent in a cross that somehow eluded the entire Enfield defence, before landing perfectly for Lee Boylan. He was just 12yds out and hit home perfectly for the first of the afternoon's goal feast.

Enfield. like so many visitors to Park Lane this season, relied very heavily on quick bursts forward and nobody was better at the quick burst than No. 10 Paul Armstrong. He was able to run at the Canvey defence with considerable skill and his cross to Demba Traore on 5 minutes brought about a header that was too close for comfort.

But being close is not good enough, and Canvey very quickly got back into the driving seat to allow Lee Boylan to score the club's 100th league goal of the season. This time the hard work was done by Chris Duffy who sent in a perfect cross on 8 minutes that found the unmarked Boylan ready to pounce for his 42nd goal of the season. This was looking too easy.

Boyly's hat-trick came in the 14th minute and again it was Duffers who set things up. He was strutting his stuff out on the left and before he crossed the ball he glanced up to see Boylan lurking dangerously on the far post. Duffers lobbed the ball over for the league's (and the country's?) top scorer to slot home with ease. A hat-trick in just 12 minutes. A record? Yes, but not for long!

With a total score of ten, it would be too easy to forget some of the near misses. Not only did Canvey put ten away this afternoon, they missed at least another half-dozen and one certain denied penalty. A hat-trick of fluffs must belong to Neil Gregory alone. He had one beautiful 'cert' that landed in the side netting and another that landed in the car park - from all of two yards out! But all will be forgiven for his eventual goal, Canvey's fourth, which came on 29 minutes. The 'keeper, Marc Palmer, rarely collected a clean ball all afternoon and his kicking nearly always took him out of his 18yd box, but his biggest mistake of the afternoon came when he threw a ball out, straight to Greggers who couldn't believe his luck. He ducked past his defender and, with the 'keeper still way off his line, lobbed him from 20yds out. Four - nil up and counting.

John Kennedy is another player guilty of missing a 'sitter' when Palmer spilled yet another ball, this time from a Boylan shot. JK was close to the action but not quite close enough to connect and, in spite of an open net, the ball bounced to safety. Shame for JK who put in yet another superb performance.

By way of consolation, Enfield's Man of the Match - Paul Armstrong, grabbed a goal on 37 minutes following a credible solo effort. He ran at the Canvey defence that, without either Wardy or Crow, was guilty on occasions of backing off. Having run directly at the home defence he then veered off to the right and kept going. When he was close enough he eventually got in a shot from wide on the right that found Ashley Harrison in no-man's-land and, in spite of a valiant effort, the Canvey 'keeper could only knock the ball onto the far post from where it bounced into the net.

Just on half time Greggers missed an absolute sitter from 2yds out. It would have been so easy to send the ball into the net but, instead, the ball was sent into a nearby housing estate. Still, when you are 4 - 1 up, who cares? Greggers certainly didn't.

Half time Canvey 4 Enfield 1

It is very difficult to describe Lee Boylan's fourth goal. Suffice to say, it will go down in history as the best goal ever scored at Park Lane. So good that this alone gives Boyly the Man of the Match award. Ashley threw out quickly, following an Enfield attack and the ball went to Jeff Minton. Mints ran half the length of the pitch in loads and load of space. The only Canvey player in front of him was Boylan who pointed to the exact spot where he wanted the ball delivered. Mints obliged and Boylan ran onto the ball, connected with a single touch and sent the ball screaming into the far corner of the net. Fans applauded not for the fifth goal, but the shear genius of its creation.

Chris Duffy had created two of Boylan's goals in the first half but, on 65 minutes, he decided that he wanted to get onto the scoresheet himself. A Canvey corner was half cleared before the ball was knocked back into the danger area. Duffer's first shot was blocked but the ball fell nicely for him to have a second bite of the cherry and he blasted home from close range. Six - one up!!!

Jeff Minton was involved in Canvey's 7th when, on 78 minutes, he collected a ball in midfield and sent out a deft pass to substitute Michael Lee who was wide on the right. The cross from the youngster was superbly weighted and found fellow substitute Bertie Brayley was perfectly placed to hammer home from 5yds. Seven - one up!!!

How do you come on as substitute for a man who has already scored a hat-trick? The answer seems to be to score a hat-trick of your own. And that's exactly what Bertie did - in record time. His second goal was set up for him perfectly by the third substitute, Ollie Berquez. Ollie cut in from the right and sent in such a tremendous cross that Bertie had no difficulty in converting. Eight - nil up!!! The ninth came just a minute later, again courtesy of Ollie Berquez but this time from the left. A perfect set-up for Bertie to claim the match ball (sorry, already claimed by Boylan).

Just to add a cherry to the top of this amazing footballing cake, Lee Protheroe made it ten just into extra time. From what seemed a lost ball 20yds out, Proths sent in a Beckham-like curling ball that was too high and too wide for the hapless Palmer, But it curled in and dropped perfectly for goal number ten. A great result at the end of a great season. Such a pity that so many people missed it. Never mind, perhaps there will be another FA Cup run soon to drag the couch potatoes away from the garden or the television.





DARE WE DO IT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!




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