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ALCOHOL


Andrewc

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Subject: Alcohol---

 

ALCOHOL WARNING LABELS

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers

have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning

labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

_____

WARNING:

The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering

what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

_____

WARNING:

The consumption of alcohol may make you think

you are whispering when you are not.

_____

WARNING:

The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

_____

WARNING:

The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends

over and over again that you love them.

_____

WARNING:

The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

_____

WARNING:

The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers

are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

_____

WARNING:

The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically

converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

____

WARNING:

The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of

inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

_____

WARNING:

The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are

tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

_____

WARNING:

The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are

laughing WITH you.

_____

WARNING:

The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

_____

WARNING:

The crumsumpten of alcahol may Mack you tink you can tipe real gode.

 

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