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Club Announcement - Weds 17th October


Keith B

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Some speculation on Saturday about what this is to be about. My favourites were:

 

1. Alan Pincham will attend future games without telling anyone his poor (but funny) jokes;

2. After his close shave on Saturday, Phil Marshall vows to grow his hair as long as Brian May (for charity, of course);

3. Esso are vacating the fuel depot, to make way for a 4th runway;

4. A new bus route is planned to include a direct journey from Bedfont to the RPS, so I can get to more games.

 

Can't be there (I have to be in bed by 7.30pm), but look forward to hearing about the real announcement.

 

Any other speculation?

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Ok, i feel the need to blow the whistle on this statement. The Truth is as follows

 

Alan Constable, Graham Cooley and Eddie Hutchinson have all been outed as part time, weekend transvestites and have all made themselves available to the ladies team as players.

 

Chaps.....err...sorry ladies, i am unable to keep this to myself any longer, but i think you will thank me in the long run.

 

By the way did i tell you all i have lots of stillettos (size 10) available in my lock up just a fiver per pair and more importantly corsets at 2 quid a piece. Surely a must for girls of your...... eerrr shapes. :) :))

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Thanks, Dannii!

 

There used to be a picture of a former Ash Trees player in alternative clothing (allegedly at a party, and accompanied by Alan Constable in proper attire and 'Boycey' moustache) on a wall in the clubhouse. Wonder where that went?

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I have to confess that I was tipped off on Saturday.

 

Baseball caps are now allowed in the Boardroom, as well as mullets. Additionally, the microphone will be operative from the half-way line, to avoid Gareth having to sprint to the club shop to anounce scorers and substitutions as part of his fitness regime.

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That reminds me, I did offer to buy the club a radio mic - I emailed Alan and Gareth last week but didn't get a reply.

 

As for the alternative dresser, There might actually have been two - can't remember if Clarky was one, the chap I'm thinking of is actively with the club at the mo and is very pleased we've got a ladies team!

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That reminds me, I did offer to club the club a radio mic - I emailed Alan and Gareth last week but didn't get a reply.

 

You will, Eddie! I've been chasing my tail for the last week and wanted to properly research the answer before going back to you. Thank you, again, for your support.

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I remember we used to have remote microphone, albeit not very reliable. Not sure what the problem was, but then again I am a techy pleb (sorry, Mr Andrew Mitchell for nicking your comments, but please pass them on to Mr K Kwarteng, MP).

 

I'd be happy to contribute towards a replacement, so long as I don't have to make announcements. I'll leave that to the experts.

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Nice one, Keith! Mind you, they've let me loose with the mic, and I'm sure you could do better.

 

The problems with the old remote mic were 1) the metallic structures in the ground blocked or deflected the signal, thus making it difficult to find a spot with decent reception and causing the announcer to sound like Norman Collier, and 2) rumour has it someone from our tenants broke it.

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The big announcement is ...... there isn't one, It's Jacko's birthday Wednesday and we just wanted big crowd there for him .........ps radio mike would be better now as we relocated the amp.in the bookshop.

 

This half time entertainment thing could catch on ... bring on Arthur Nibble and his chest wig ...

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It's looking like we might get some decent media coverage as a result of tomorrow night... The website article is pre-loaded, with a time delay on it to prevent it publishing until after the gathering at the club.

 

See you all there!

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;) With reference to Dan outing me;

I cannot confirm or deny at this point but wonder the reason why he has done this ??

I did casually ask him about a size 10 high heeled pair of sling backs and told him i took in a bit of the ladies match last weekend .

I am aware he has oversized womens clothes in his lock-up which he leads me to believe he sells at car boot sales !!!!

As yet I have not signed for Ashford ladies as I need to source a kit of a certain size............any ideas

 

As for Eddie and Alan I am keeping an open mind but must say they are wonderful company at weekends (at the RPS)

Looking forward to the "special announcement" on Wednesday and hoping Lily Savage will be there !!!

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If I forget, remind me to give Slaphead Phil a tenner in lieu of Saturday.

 

Could you also please have a badge behind the bar for me? I'd like to buy one to put on my new tangerine baseball cap. Oh, and keep a meaty roll in reserve too if you can! ;)

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