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A tour of Canvey


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A message for John Crawshaw

 

John, I know that you knock Canvey and each to their own opinion, but do you know what you are missing? Allow me to conduct you on a tour of our island.

Starting at Benfleet station you will find this to be one of the best examples of Rococo architecture of its kind. Onward across the fine grassland with the design and lay out by Capability Brown no less, offering fine views of the estuary. It is little known that Lord Nelson and the Victory were often on patrol in and around Benfleet creek to protect the Essex people from the rampaging Kentish men.

Now on to the island and after the Waterside roundabout(modern) we find ourselves on Long Road, built by the Romans as a look alike to Watling Street. This road runs straight to the town save for another modern addition, the Safeway roundabout. Now Safeways, that fine emporium where one can find porcelain and fine art in the Chinoiserie style and this being just next door to the Scottish eaterie McDonalds as frequented by the Emperor Hadrian when in these parts.

Moving on along Long Road we pass the two churches finished in the true Baroque style with their huge sweeping domes before heading on to the town itself where one marvels at the focal point of Bernini's elliptical piazza.

Having feasted on all the above we eventually arrive at Park Lane, much maligned by many visiting fans but, actually, in very good condition since it is another example of Roman influence on the island. Built to mirror the famous Roman amphitheatre it is thought that the Emperor Nero was a regular visitor for the gladiatorial battles which took place here.

I hope that I have put you straight on the attractions of Canvey and hope that this will serve as a guide as to what you should be looking for on your next visit.

I would also say that......................

Ah? what's that? Oh it's my alarm clock, it must be time to get up!!!

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And from the 5 star Labworth Restaurant, you can gaze along the surf-kissed sandy beach, adorned with the best of Essex topless beauties and hunky, Adonis like surf-boarders riding the Thames breakers.

 

There are similarities between the almost unique Labworth Beach and Bondi Beach.

 

Not many, but some (surely?)

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U also forgot the 24 multiscreen cinema with all the latest in dolby digital with a 16 lane bowling alley and super pub open 24/7. Marred only by the adverts for dirty pizza takeaways, naming no names and estate agents.

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Dave GNFC:

<strong>I not sure what they are smoking over there, but can I have some?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yes home grown in our newly created scented gardens a stoned throws away from Canveys version of the Sydney opera house.

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This has been a silly, but harmless thread where Canvey fans have enjoyed taken the p**s out of themselves. Quite humourous in parts.

 

If gravesend boys is going to come in from outside and reduce things to insults he may well find future postings deleted or edited.

 

And before you ask it, no, I don't believe in free speech.

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