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Proposed new stadium site?


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Apparently Gravesend, Canvey, Hornchurch & Grays will be groundsharing with eachother in a few years time anyway.

 

The clubs are going to pool their resources together, and build a new state of the art stadium - as good as the Millenium in Cardiff!

 

However, there is currently a dispute as to where it will be sited.

Naturally, the 3 Essex clubs would prefer to have it built in Essex, but GNFC are obviously less happy about this. However, one plan has been met with generally warm approval, and should confront these "issues" regarding location.

 

It is proposed that the new stadium be built within the confines of the Thames Estuary itself - rather like an oil rig, but much bigger of course.

 

Geological surveys of the Thames river bed has revealed there is no substantial bed-rock strata under the heavy clay bed; therefore permanent fixture via reinforced concrete piles is extremely difficult. Thus, the site will take the form of a floating pontoon.

 

Architects propose attaching 3" solid core steel cables from the dome at Lakeside, the Dartford Bridge, and the Costa Coffee shop at Bluewater to prevent the stadium floating over to Belgium with the outgoing tide.

 

Motion sickness is not believed to be a problem as directors are of the understanding that supporters will just "get used to it".

 

Access will be either by pedlo, water-wings, tractor-tyre inner tubes, hot air balloon, or inflatable killer whale - although Jeff King was unable to comment upon this last suggestion.

 

Uncle Urchin raised concerns on accesability for team players, and Gravesend directors have assuaged his fears by suggesting they loan the club's hang-glider for the use of.

 

There would be no car parking spaces available at the new site, although they concede they may situate a mooring position for those driving cars similar to James Bond's Lotus Esprit.

 

In keeping with the general theme of the proposed stadium venture, it has been suggested that all food outlets will be serving cockles, jellied-eels, & shrimps.

The club bar will, of course, have pure Thames Water on draught.

 

So far, these tentative suggestions have been met with warm approval by Gravesend & Thurrock Councils, and the development itself may qualify for financial assistance from the EU for its "environmentally friendly" aspect.

 

For instance, there will be less wastage of water as patrons will be asked to void directly into the Thames.

 

Hydro-electrical generation will provide much of the stadium's needs in this respect. In order to counter tidal problems, a gymnasium with space for 1000 cycling machines will be installed. Patrons will thus generate the remainder of the stadium's electrical needs.

 

Architects have so far discounted using wind-generators [windmills] as they do not want the new stadium to be confused with the Ramsgate to Dunkirk hovercraft.

 

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Wow......send me a months supply of your pain killers please Mal.....What's it like up there on the ceiling??? <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/ufo.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/ufo.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/ufo.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/ufo.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/ufo.gif" alt="" />

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