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some of these aint bad

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offline CANV EFM

  • National Squad - 1st XI
  • Posts: 7,635
  • Joined: 9 Sep 2001
> David Beckhams Hospital visit for check up on his now-healed
> goes
> awry when Becks demands £10,000 for image rights before having an
> picture taken. In the ensuing scuffle the skipper's hairstyle is badly
> bruised, wrecking his World Cup dream.
> Wayne Bridge While waiting for a taxi to the airport decides to have a
> quick
> kickabout in the car park with even-tempered team-mate Tahar El
> wrecking his World Cup dream.
> Wes Brown Status as Britain's first orange footballer is revealed to
> the
> result of lifelong addiction to Tango. Is slapped silly by a
> orange giant, wrecking his World Cup dream.
> Nicky Butt Develops food poisoning after stylish 'Gucci and sushi'
> at
> Beckingham Palace. Ensuing bouts of diarrhoea leave him being
described as
> 'Sicky Butt', wrecking his World Cup dream.
> Sol Campbell After lifting FA Cup and Premiership with Arsenal, is
> revealed
> to have an allergy to silverware which naturally went undetected
> his
> Spurs years, wrecking his World Cup dream.
> Ashley Cole, Joe Cole Fail to turn up for plane to Japan after reading
> headlines which say 'Cole Announces International Retirement',
> their World Cup dreams.
> Kieron Dyer Using PC while recovering from knee ligament injury,
clicks on
> spam e-mail which promises HOT XXXXX-RATED ACTION. Immediately
develops a
> nasty virus, wrecking his World Cup dream.
> Rio Ferdinand Goes for a "quiet pint" with Jonathan Woodgate, wrecking
> World Cup dream.
> Robbie Fowler Trampled in stampede to leave stylish 'Gucci and sushi'
> party
> at Beckingham Palace when Victoria puts one of her own records on,
> wrecking
> his World Cup dream.
> Steven Gerrard After injuring back while sitting on Liverpool team
> and
> groin while walking on Anfield pitch, famously robust Scouser suffers
> strain while giving interview, wrecking his World Cup dream.
> Owen Hargreaves Caught up in unsavoury clashes between England and
> fans and beats himself up, wrecking his World Cup dream.
> Emile Heskey Hits six goals in first warm-up match and gets to his
> immediately each time he is fouled. Admits that "I'm just not myself
> the
> moment" and withdraws, wrecking his World Cup dream.
> David James Drops Gameboy on foot while braiding hair after 90 seconds
> warm-up match, wrecking his World Cup dream.
> Martin Keown Trip to Tokyo Zoo ends in tragedy when, while checking
> chimps' tea party, he is attacked by the primates and hung as a
> wrecking his World Cup dream.
> Nigel Martyn Attempts to give himself a haircut as stupid as those
worn by
> the other two England goalkeepers but accidentally shaves top of head
> wrecking his World Cup dream.
> Danny Mills, Danny Murphy Still not quite believing that two jobbing
> cloggers can play in the greatest tournament on Earth, both Dannies
> themselves until severe bruising occurs, wrecking their World Cup
> Michael Owen After parting his hair neatly, putting on his lovely
> and
> bow tie, packing teddy in his suitcase and kissing mummy goodbye, is
> blinded
> by the glare of his newly-polished shoes, wrecking his World Cup
> David Seaman Slips into coma at Arsenal dinner after Tony Adams
> intimate details of his struggle against alcohol for the 11,458th
> wrecking his World Cup dream.
> Paul Scholes Brutally attacked by a group of Japanese schoolchildren
> call him 'shortarse', wrecking his World Cup dream.
> Teddy Sheringham After Tottenham season video is shown in England team
> hotel, dies of shame, wrecking his World Cup dream.
> Gareth Southgate Chokes, though thankfully not this time while taking
> vital penalty in the semi-final of a major tournament, wrecking his
> Cup dream.
> Darius Vassell Hospitalised with malnutrition after misguided attempt
> prove that "empty Vassells make most sound", wrecking his World Cup

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