Roland the class swot gets up and says, "Last year I got the measles and my Mum said it was contagious."
"Well done, Roland" says the teacher. "Can anyone else try?" Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, "My grandma says there's a bug going round, and it's contagious."
"Well done, Katie" says the teacher. "Anyone else?"
Little Irish Shaun jumps up and says in a broad Irish voice, "Our next door neighbour is painting his house with a two-inch brush and my Dad says it will take the contagious".
A primary teacher starts a new job at a school in North London and,
trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her
class that she is a Spurs fan. She asks her students to raise their
hands if they, too, are Spurs fans. Everyone in the class raises
their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl
with surprise and says: "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?"
"Because I'm not a Spurs fan," she replied.The teacher, still shocked asked:"Well, if you're not a Spurs fan, then who are you a fan of?"
"I'm an Arsenal fan, and proud of it," Mary replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears.
"Mary, why are you an Arsenal fan?"
"Because my mum and dad are from Highbury, and my mum is an
Arsenal fan and my dad is an Arsenal fan, so I'm an Arsenal fan too!""Well," said the teacher, in a obviously annoyed tone, "that's no
reason for you to be an Arsenal fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum was a prostitute and
your dad was a drug addict and car thief, what would you be then?""Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be a Liverpool fan...."