> > This is a tale of the man called Roy,
> > And how he filled our hearts with joy,
> > Until the w*nkers in the FAI
> > Booked a pitch that was completely dry.
> > A muscle tightened and a tendon stretched,
> > Roy was livid, and the lads said 'Sketch!'
> > Roy said "All credit to me at the end of the day,
> > Me go in goal? No f*ckin' way!"
> > Roy had a go at Bonner and Kelly,
> > Coz while the team was training, the keepers watched telly. There'd
> > been bust-ups before, this wasn't the first, Meanwhile the players
> > were dying of thirst.
> > Cos the FAI made a deal for some energy drink,
> > But they forgot to bring it, so what did Roy think?
> > "You're some langer!" he screamed at Mick,
> > While Duff explained to Jason that 'langer' meant 'pr*ck'.
> > So Roy packed his bags and went to bed,
> > To rest all the blood that rushed to his head.
> > He said he'd go home, but would he really?
> > Meanwhile Mick had called up Colin Healy.
> > "We need you Colin, pack your bag,
> > You're in the squad coz Roy lost the rag."
> > Roy rang Alex, who was at home in his gaff,
> > And Alex said "Roy, you're havin' a laugh!"
> > "You're at the World Cup, the centre stage,
> > Put a cork in your murderous rage!"
> > So Roy changed his mind and decided to stay,
> > And told Mick it's cool, he just had a bad day.
> > The next day Roy told his story in the papers,
> > But Mick had enough of his captain's capers
> > He called a meeting, and Jason got lost,
> > And Roy was asked to explain to the boss.
> > What it was that was getting him down,
> > Roy's vein popped out, and he made that frown.
> > "Obviously as I said like, at the end of the day,
> > I am the captain and I want my own way."
> > "I want keepers to train, and I want a decent pitch,
> > And a decent manager, you son-of-a-bitch!"
> > Quinner, Kelly and Stan stood up tall,
> > And said "Roy, you're not the only one who can kick a ball!"
> > "And Roy said "I know, Duff can play too,
> > And other Keane and Reid, but Christ look at you!
> > You're has-beens, you're muppets who can't take the heat, And Quinn
> > you can head, but did you know you have feet?!"
> > Mick said "That's it, you're taking the piss",
> > As Jason arrived and said "What did I miss?"
> > Roy was not welcome, and told to go home,
> > And in true FAI style, they got RyanAir on the phone.
> > There weren't any flights until the next day,
> > So Roy went to bed while the whole country prayed.
> > Please help us Jesus, Bertie and the Pope,
> > Because without Roy in Japan, we haven't a hope.