who have taken the time
and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12
months. Thank you for
making me feel safe, secure, blessed and Healthy.
Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about
rat crap in the glue on
envelopes - cause I now have to go get a wet towel
every time I need to
seal an envelope.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones in case I'm
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even
though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone
might drug me with an
aftershave sample and rob me.
I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are
actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer worry about my soul because at last
count, I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only
answers my prayers if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make
a wish within five minutes.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to
a sick girl on the
Internet who is about to die in the hospital (for
the 1,387,258th time).
I no longer have any money at all in fact - but
that will change once I
receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are
sending me for participating in their special on-line email
Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking
out for me that I will now return the favour! If you don't send this
e-mail to at least 144,000
people in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with
a wicked case of diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this
afternoon. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a
friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's
DO IT NOW OR ELSE.
And Have a nice day!