Jago

Decent result yesterday with a below par performance – but they all count etc etc. Decent crowd too which caught a lot of us out in the prediction league. Well done Jordan and co for the efforts in advertising the game. We are now half way through the Autumn league (yes we play 14 games not 18 before I hear any bleating) – so time for you to take stock, shepherd your resources and slam in the lamb for the second half. Nope - I have no idea why this posting has slid down a sheep farming theme either but sometimes these things just happen. Baaahh. Top sheep-dog in Div 1 remains Mr D but a rare defeat yesterday to the ever-consistent Paul C has opened things right up. Wivenhoe will be pleased to get back into contention (to stay up!) with a comfortable win against the ever-inconsistent 1961 COYS. And Blackballed remains wallowing in sheep-dip wondering what he has to do to get a win. (Score more goals than the opposition is my somewhat unorthodox advice Dave). In Division sheep-poo, I'm still waiting for Microsoft’s investigations into why their normally reliable Excel product a) placed Cup of Tea on top of the league last week and b) has kept him there this week. Once is unfortunate, twice feels like carelessness. Anyway, Bill Gates is having a look. The battle at the very bottom ended all square as Mick the Bat and The New Sheep couldn’t be separated. Mick’s always had a thing for sheep I’m told. And MikeMike’s "Jekyll and Hyde" season continues – now with an impressively wayward WWWWLLL record. Meanwhile Baby Jago sauntered into the auto-promotion places by pulling the wool over Sir Colin – who incidentally has now paid his subs (thank you sir - always best to approach him after a win!). Which just leaves Hatted Urchin on the aged debtors list. I'm saying nothing. Scottish tightwad. Next week we have the 2 big father-son derbies so there will be tears before bedtime one way or the other. Here you go for the full bollox... UPMINSTER ELITE COLLIER ROW NOT SO ELITE NEXT WEEK Predictez-vous on this lot - Week 8, 19th October 2019 Lazio v Atalanta Everton v WHU (12:30) Middlesbrough v West Brom Potters Bar v Barnet (FAC) (12:30) Leatherhead v Hornchurch Att: That is all. Here's hoping for a disconsolate Baby Jago by Saturday evening. JAGO.

SIR COLIN Melbourne Victory 1-1 Melbourne City (09:30) Southend 2-1 AFC Wimbledon Chelmsford 2-2 Wealdstone Brentwood 3-2 Basildon (FAT) Hornchurch 2-1 Urchin Old Boys (& Pitsea) Att: 320 THE SUPER SOARAWAY WIZZZARDS Melbourne Victory 2-1 Melbourne City (09:30) Southend 0-0 AFC Wimbledon Chelmsford 1-2 Wealdstone Brentwood 1-2 Basildon (FAT) Hornchurch 2-0 Urchin Old Boys (& Pitsea) Att: 333 (I have the advantage of going after Colin!!!!)

Jordan - will we allow people to show the discount flyer on a phone / tablet? If so I'll post that on a couple of websites frequented by the non league nerd community.

I enjoyed the trip to Horsham - pity about the result but roll on Non League day v Bowers. In the Prediction League, Mr D is beginning to show his class (that's class) and looks to be the man to beat. And the tragic decline of Blackballed (he seems to get a mention every week) carries on unabated - despite the cunning ruse of essentially replicating his opponent's predictions. Interesting that this opponent, a certain Paul C, has form himself in this respect (no Paul, I will never let it rest!). Meanwhile Lord Upminster edged home in the first TractorBoyz derby of the season v Ozz. In Division 2... do my eyes deceive me? Has the Jago Supercomputer encountered an untrapped overflow condition? Or is that really the Prince of Darkness, aka Cup of Tea on top of the pile? I think it is. Well done Prince, we're pleased to see you back. Well done also to Dinamo Albion who got the attendance spot on - astonishingly lucky very impressive given the size of the crowd. In fact most of us did very well on the crowd which was the overall top points provider of the week (ZZZZzzzzzzzzz). If you didn't get a mention try to do something interesting for next time. Here it all is: UPPITY UPMINSTER DIVISION CHRONIC ROW (S) DIVISION NEXT WEEK - 12 Oct It's non league day, so we're dipping down a bit. Week 7, 12th October by 09:30 (if you want to score in the first game) WIVENHOE please note! Melbourne Victory v Melbourne City (09:30) Southend v AFC Wimbledon Chelmsford v Wealdstone Brentwood v Basildon (FAT) Hornchurch v Urchin Old Boys (& Pitsea) Att: Good luck everyone (not so much MikeMike this week - I wanna go top!) Jago

UPDATE - bollox, Santos sneaked it 1-0 so I lost and I am taking my ball home. I'll do the results when I've cheered up. Probably Wednesday!

Essentially it could have gone either way...sounds like Tuesday (not that I was there mid-week). Horsham just happened to be the ones who managed to bundle it over the line. So I guess we can't complain - even though I thought we'd nick it. We did look vulnerable on our left flank but player absences didn't help. Both teams will be in the mix at the end of the season. As UM61 says, excellent support from the Eastside throughout - well done men. The acoustics from that little stand in the first half were amazing (interestingly not so good in the second half). And I liked the ground. They've spent their Queen Street money wisely (unlike many others who sold their town centre properties to pay off debts)... and they still have a few bob in the bank so will be a force for many years to come. For a defeat it was a pretty good day out.

Dinamo will probably have bribed the turnstile operator - it's normally his only hope of getting close. (Seriously, well done Jasper). Anyway as I had a few spare minutes on my hands, I started filling in the results...For those interested, here's the interim scores before the fat lady sings over in Rio ...

SIR COLIN / IVOR STAND Vasco da Gama 1-1 Santos Burnley 2-1 Everton Norwich 1-2 Aston Villa Worthing 3-2 East Thurrock Horsham 1-3 Hornchurch Att: 490 THE Wizzzards Vasco da Gama 1-1 Santos Burnley 0-1 Everton Norwich 1--1 Aston Villa Worthing 2-1 East Thurrock Horsham 1-2 Hornchurch Att: 606

Decent result yesterday, blah blah blah. Definitely an improvement on the “We are Potters Bar, Tra La La” match (where I rather lost my normal decorum – my apologies for any offence caused!). Though in terms of non-league nerdland that’s still my favourite flag since the W& F “More Flags than Fans” banner. Anyway I digress. Some extraordinary scores this week in the Prediction League, at least in Div 2 where Sir Colin struck a golden-boot winning 15 goals past Luke’s hapless “defence”... while Luke’s attacking maestros managed a minimalist 3. Whichever way you look at it, 15-3 is a HELLUVA drubbing (and possibly a record winning margin – who knows). Good work Colin. Unfortunately Luke is playing me next week – so I am fearing “a reaction” (after my routine stroll against Dinamo yesterday). Also down in Div 2, it was TOP (MikeMike) v basically BOTTOM (Mick The Bat). The bookies took a HELLUVA beating as an unusually lucky inspired Mick smote MightyMike 7-4, largely as a result of his splendid 4-0 prediction on the Hx-Stortford match. Div 1 was a bit dull (as normal) – a fortuitous win for Mr D propelled him back above Ozz – while Wivenhoe finally remembered what he’s supposed to be doing, smashing 13 past still-on-holiday Blackballed. It's all here ... COLLIER ROW (South) Division - going first this week due to aforementioned dullness of Division 1 BILLY BIG BOOTS Division Next week, bring it on against : And predict on these : WEEK 6, 5th OCTOBER 2019 Vasco da Gama v Santos Burnley v Everton Norwich v Aston Villa Worthing v East Thurrock Horsham v Hornchurch Att: Toodle pip - see you in Sussex JAGO

Yep - you is correct.... you got stuffed 7-4. Under normal circumstances this wouldn't be too bad but this defeat was to our perennial bottom scraper Mick the Bat who only ever wins one game a season. Unfortunately for you it was this week. Credit to Mick though - he went 4-0 Chins and deserves victory on that alone. Meanwhile... await the amazing denouement of the Luke v Sir Colin match. Harakiri is the only honourable way out for one of these proud souls. And of course.... "Decent result" reference - liking your work there... it's almost like you actually read this bolllox...

In other news, many thanks to all who have coughed up their subs. Even Dinamo found some folding stuff hidden away in his pocket. Eventually. If anyone sees Mr Hat feel free to collect on my behalf as we tend to move in different orbits and may miss each other (geographically, not spiritually, obviously). The only other outstanding debtors are Baby Jago who I suspect I will have to subsidise - AGAIN - and Sir Colin. I was going to approach the great man at Potters Bar, but my self-preservation instinct kicked-in just in time 🤣 - though I may give him a free ride in honour of his valiant bailout of Sir Gary and all-round good eggness. If anyone else thinks they haven't paid, pls let me know as I am not, despite rumours to the contrary, perfect (but don't tell Baby J). So we should be able to contribute at least a few bob this year. Many thanks all Doctor Scrooge.

Sir Colin and his Stand : Atletico Madrid 1-1 Real Madrid Bournemouth 2-2 West Ham Southend 2-1 Accrington Stanley Billericay 2-2 Dorking Hornchurch 3-1 B. Stortford Att : 285 The Wizzzards : Atletico Madrid 1-1 Real Madrid Bournemouth 1-2 West Ham Southend 1-1 Accrington Stanley Billericay 2-1 Dorking (traitor that I am) Hornchurch 2-0 B. Stortford Att : 229

Ha. Some may say it's the Champions' League - but I say, NO, the BIGGEST cup will always be the Essex Senior! You should do it Ian - we have a good record under your patronage.

Yes. I apologise... I've calmed down a bit now. A bit! And yes - indeed - well done to Potters Bar. Decent fans too and I particularly liked their flag - "Tra La La, We're Potters Bar" (!) Onwards and Upwards!

Rare for me to comment on the team's performance as I'm normally inebriated on Hasbeen's or looking after Baby Jago discussing the intricacies of Seria A. Plus I know nothing about football. But as everyone else is keeping their ink dry... that was really poor wasn't it? Not only that, a win would have paid the wages for a week or so. Make the players do community service until they have saved the UK economy the (£6750 + £3750 - £2250) which is the MINIMUM we appear to have squandered (see below). That's what I say and I'm sure I'm not alone. At a living wage of £10/h that's £8250/10 which is 825 hours for the team as a whole to do something more useful than poncing about at Potters Bar. I'm not sure if Mr Stimson and his coaching crew are paid, but assuming they are, 825 hours divided by say 15 people is 55 hours' community service each. So next time I'm in Havering I am looking forward to a pothole-free driving experience and some much happier folk in the local retirement homes. Rant over! Jago.