Jago

Well Simon. I know Romford are having a tough season but I mean... really??!

Akhisarspor 2-1 Antalyaspor (14:00) West Ham 2-1 Leicester Newcastle 2-1 Southampton Romford 2-1 Soham Kingstonian 2-3 Hornchurch Att : 280

ALL HAIL OZZ. The Championship was secured in a tight match against chief-challenger Paul C in a match where the defences were very much on top (which is code for saying both teams were both cr@p on the day - just that Paul was cr@ppier than Ozz). So well done sir - yet another trophy for Ozz Towers (well OK the same one recycled, and doubtless left behind the bar anyway). With a fair wind we will get an important club official to present the trophy at the Harlow game Down in Div 2, Blackballed grinds on remorselessly and has the chance to finish the season unbeaten - which would be an astonishing achievement for someone who still doesn't understand the rules nor how to use a keyboard. I'm sure I speak for us all when I say Come on Lady Jago good luck old-timer next week. All the playoff teams are now settled, so it's just the final relegation place which is up for grabs. It will be a titanic struggle I'm sure between Wivenhoe Urchin and Lord Upminster next weekend where Wivvers just needs a point and The Lord needs all 3. So let me be clear - Rule 86.8 states that in such circumstances, predicting 3 or more scores/attendances exactly the same as your opponent is OUTLAWED and punishable by automatic demotion (or some other dramatic and random action). I happen to know Wivvers would not stoop to this as he is a Gentleman, but I'm thinking ahead for a similar possibility in future which might include some of you other reprobates. Or you can always use the secret email address jago99@outlook.com But finishing on a happier note - golden boot winner this week is Hatted Urchin who scored 4 goals more than anyone else by using the simple idea of not overthinking it. It's all here for you : UPMINSTER DIVISION COLLIER ROW (SOUTH) DIVISION NEXT WEEK You are playing: You are predicting on: SPRING WEEK 14 (final week) : 20th April 2019 - we go to Turkey for Easter, and why not? Akhisarspor v Antalyaspor (14:00) West Ham v Leicester Newcastle v Southampton Romford v Soham Kingstonian v Hornchurch Att : Up the Urchins Jago

Good work Mr Blackballed - I see your cut and paste skills have returned to their former exemplary level. However I think you will find that the correct scores are as follows: Seattle Sounders 1-1 Toronto Brighton 1-2 Bournemouth Reading 2-1 Brentford Corinthian Casuals 1-1 Wingate Hornchurch 2-1 Whitehawk Att: 240

...Towners. I'm going 2-0 Urchins as you won't be able to cope with our slick chicken tikka tiki-taka showboating on the 3G. Or so I'm hoping. May the best team win and see you in the bar.

4pm? Are you some kind of unreconstructed 1980s drinking machine? But I'd rather meet in Aveley - you don't win through to Wembley and then meet at The Drill, so see you there Lukey. Taste Of Aveley afterwards? - it's always looked, errr, enticing as I've hastened past in the motor.

I stumbled across this site (don't ask!). I don't have any old shirts as I am old myself, but I feel we should make a bit of effort with it... I'm looking at you Wivenhoe, Maccas1 etc. https://www.oldfootballshirts.com/en/teams/a/afc-hornchurch/old-afc-hornchurch-football-shirts-t366.html Cheers Jago

Sounds like some game v Haringey. Well done the Urchins. In the Prediction League, we now have a few promotions and relegations settled. Well done to Blackballed and Mr D who have both secured their places back in the Big Time. They will be replaced by Mick The Bat and The Hatted Urchin who were both promoted at Christmas but failed to strengthen their squads and were promptly dumped back down. Though Mr Hat can consider himself a little unlucky to lose after getting the attendance spot on - the first manager to do so I think (lose that is). Incredibly, Paul C was also bang on the attendance money - but he was able to secure the win. In other news, Cool Hand Luke can look forward to another season pottering about in Div 2 as he can no longer make the playoffs (largely due to his shocking defence), and Ozz needs one more win to snaffle another title (unless there is a goalscoring miracle from Paul or COYS). And last but not least, a recent run of form by Wivenhoe means his survival is now in his own hands - as the last game of the season is the relegation showdown versus Lord Upminster. Tickets selling fast. Get the rest of the news here ... Upminster Division Collier Row (South) Next week - including the Ozz v Paul C showdown Spring Week 13, 13th April 2019 : Please predict on: Seattle Sounders v Toronto Brighton v Bournemouth Reading v Brentford Corinthian Casuals v Wingate Hornchurch v Whitehawk Att: UP THE URCHINS JAGO

Turn it off and on again 😎

Ah - that's what Anthony used to do but now he's fixed it. We can check with him. Though I just tried it on an iPad and again a simple cut and paste works fine. The best option I think will be to use SHIFT > RETURN rather than just RETURN between each line as this should just give a line feed only. Can you have a go next week please. Thanks, John

Well it does seem you are trying very hard so I shall let you off . I've tried cutting and pasting in various ways and don't get the problem. It may be a browser-specific issue - what are you using? It seems fine on Chrome and Firefox but I haven't tried Safari etc. Certainly if I copy your entry into Word there are paragraph breaks at the end of each line rather than just line feeds (which everyone else has that I checked and which is what go into the original fixtures posting) so something weird is happening at Blackballed Towers One method might be to use "PASTE > UNFORMATTED TEXT" rather than a simple paste - but I can't tell because by the time it goes onto the forum the damage is done if anyone else is having this problem - or has solved it - please let me know. @Lord Upminster - can you remember doing something different the other week? Many thanks

Polite warning to Blackballed - those line feeds will create mayhem when I copy into excel as they will overwrite formulae. Which means I have to copy the lines one by one and it makes me VERY ANNOYED and wastes my VALUABLE drinking time. SO - sort it out or you will get an official warning. And as Cup of Tea and will vouch, a second offence leads to point(s) deducted. I missed giving this warning to Lord Upminster the other week, but that was because I'd had a more pleasant day at work. So - the same applies to the Marshland Tractor Boy. There - having manned up and got that off my chest, here are the correct scores : Sampdoria 1-1 Roma Newcastle 2-1 Palace Hearts 1-2 Hibs (12:30) Harlow 1-2 Potters Bar Hornchurch 2-1 Haringey Boro Att: 266

Hello Again. Three weeks to go - yes, it's nearly over (the Prediction League that is). In fact Ozz probably wishes it was already over as his traditional end of season collapse is now taking shape nicely. And if 1961 COYS had a bit more knowledge (i.e. any at all) about Scottish "football" we'd have seen a new leader this week. Have another go with Hearts again this week folks. In Collier Row (South) the top 2, Blackballed and Mr D, grind on relentlessly (yes, just like the Prediction League), and we have a new wooden spoon incumbent in Cool Hand Luke - whose eagle eyed work on incorrect kick off dates is no recompense for his ultimately inept prediction skills. Talking of which The BBC website would like to apologise for getting two kick-off dates wrong in the last two weeks - though no damage was done as the two late boys, Mick The Bat and Hatted Urchin were playing each other, and the late girl, Lady Jago, lost by a cricket score. Anyway, let's see where it all goes wrong with the fixtures this week. (No. you're right, it can't be that hard... can it?) For those still awake, here's the full monty: UPMINSTER DIVISION ROMFORD COLLIER ROW (South) DIVISION NEXT WEEK - SPRING WEEK 12, 6th April 2019 Div 1 Div 2 Please Predict on : Sampdoria v Roma Newcastle v Palace Hearts v Hibs (12:30) Harlow v Potters Bar Hornchurch v Haringey Boro Att: Loving y'all. I may even visit RM14 on Saturday so get your bribes ready. (A beer is just fine thanks). Jago

Good spot Luke. I'm blaming the BBC. Again. You should get a job as a detective. Anyone who predicts before 15:00 on Saturday but after the Girona game has kicked off will be given a 0-0 default prediction. Yes - I make it up as I go along

Whoops. Turns out the Girona game kicks off at 1945 on Friday. Another cock up. By the Beeb of course- nothing to do with me 🥺 Please predict by 1945. As this is an admin error, if you don’t spot this post you will be given a default prediction of 0-0 rather than foregoing the points on that game. (Assuming you remember to predict by 1500 on Saturday). Seems fair. Thanks all THE MANAGEMENT