Jago

Interesting. Or maybe not – all depends on your boredom threshold I guess. But our top two (relatively) deep-thinkers – CuppaT and Wivvers – lie bottom of their respective divisions, while our top two non-thinkers – Sir Colin and the Dummy Team – are lording it atop their leagues. A lesson here for you all – don’t overthink it. (Never done me any harm!). Some very good predictions on the crowd - which was the highest scorer of the week. Good job too for Mick The Bat else he'd have scored ZERO! And well done Fat Tom – this week’s golden booter. Anyway, let’s cut the waffle - here is how badly you are doing... Upminster Division Collier Row (South) NEXT WEEK - 25th Jan by 15:00 please Fixtures to predict: Valencia v Barcelona Coventry v Birmingham (FAC) Southampton v Spurs (FAC) Orient v Newport County Bowers v Hornchurch Att: Good luck y'all

Fat Tom... Hoffenheim 1v2 Eintracht Frankfurt West Ham 1v1 Everton Southampton 1v2 Wolves Histon PvP Glenn Tamplin’s Wizards Hornchurch 2v1 Leatherhead Att 301

Careful Cuppa - as if the man's ego isn't already inflated enough Hoffenheim 1-1 Eintracht Frankfurt West Ham 1-2 Everton Southampton 2-1 Wolves Histon 1-1 Glenn Tamplin’s Wizards Hornchurch 1-0 Leatherhead Att :299

Well. From all reports I'm quite pleased I missed yesterday's Trophy game. Sounds rather like Potters Bar in the FAC which I'm still trying to erase from my memory bank. Hey-ho - on we go - winning the league will do! Good job we have the Prediction League really. After one week it's obvs hard to assess any trends, but so far I'd say it's Sir Colin's to lose after an astonishing 13 goal haul on his debut in Div 1 - and he didn't even fix the gate. Some astute transfer window signings by The Dummy Team mean they look like the boyz to beat this year in Div 2... and the early strugglers look to be Dinamo (no surprise there), my good self (still rocked by the Romford Wizzzards FC franchise shock - see below), and Fat Tom whose alarm clock clearly needs resetting for 2020. Before we get to the results, it is important to address the Wizzzards' franchise issue. Yes, I know this is all about me, but to be fair this could have happened to any of you. Jago Enterprises Inc was made an offer it couldn't refuse by a Mr Glenn Tampon, and have accordingly sold out to the newly rebranded Romford Wizzzards FC. As such my hot-shots will now be known as FC Chintastic until such time as GT gets bored at Collier Row (South) and sells me back my franchise name at a serious discount. (Alternative Daily Mail-reader interpretation ... f**k that, I'm not being associated with that bunch). Anyway - here we go. No tables yet... you all have a brain. UPMINSTER WINNERZ DIVISION COLLIER ROW (South) LOOOZERS DIVISION NEXT WEEK... Saturday 18th Jan by 15:00 For predicting... Hoffenheim v Eintracht Frankfurt West Ham v Everton Southampton v Wolves Histon v Glenn Tamplin’s Wizards Hornchurch v Leatherhead Att All the best to all and sundry, excluding Ozz (for this week only), JAGO

Lazio 1-1 Napoli C Palace 1-2 Arsenal (12:30) Tottenham 1-1 Liverpool Southend 2-1 Tranmere Urchins 2-1 Aveley (FAT) Att: 466

If you're wondering what we're bumbling on about, Sir Glenn Tamplin has announced that the once famous and much-loved Romford Football Club will now be known as the Romford Wizards... unofficially one assumes though I guess they'd have some interesting games with the Tonbridge Angels!

Thanks Colin/all. It seems we all feel pretty much the same. We don't want to turn down the atmosphere, but there are limits. To the people who've PM'd me I'll get back to you shortly.

The bigger issue is I'm gonna have to change the name of my Prediction League team

Hello everyone. HAAAPPPPY NEWWWW YEARRRR. Decent result yesterday etc, etc. But down in the depths of the Prediction League I regret to announce it is time once more to put on your thinking caps and get ready for the new season. We have ONE SPACE AVAILABLE for a bargain fiver to take over the moribund outfit that is the Dummy Team. Let me know if you want to sign up - else the Dummies will again wreak havoc across the length and breadth of the country. Mainly in West Bromwich. The new season sees the astonishing scenario of PAUL "Big 5" C plying his trade amongst the likes of minnows MikeMike and Fat Tom. An easy return surely? But as we know it took an awfully long time for Tranmere to escape the Conference - and Wrexham are still there. No complacency then Paul. Anyway here it all is, with the Jagos looking to topple the Big Two in week one.. There will again be 14 matches, followed by play-offs, so we'll finish at the end of April. If you think you are in the wrong division do let me know as I've been at a birthday gig and am somewhat tired and emotional. PREDICTION LEAGUE - Spring 2020 - WEEK 1 by 11th Jan, 12:30 Please predict on the following : Lazio v Napoli C Palace v Arsenal (12:30) Tottenham v Liverpool Southend v Tranmere Urchins v Aveley (FAT) Att: All the best (obviously not to reigning champ Mr D) Jago

Guys and gals - the tweets are the views of one or two individuals. Social media is not fact - and rarely does it reflect the opinions of the majority (just check any political nonsense on twitter for example). But it is a good place for people who struggle with normal face-to-face communication to voice their views or prejudices in a safe environment, especially after the event. So - I'd ignore and move on. Responding just legitimises the debate with people who have a lot of time on their hands to get in the last word - so probably will (generally 20-something media graduates and the like!). I suspect the majority of Horsham fans (and players) simply felt they'd had a hard day at the office but felt nothing threatening - certainly there were plenty in the bar chatting with the Urchin faithful after the game. BUT - and I have been meaning to post this for a while - I do think there are one or two individuals at The Bridge whose language and attitude is simply not acceptable. There is one bloke on the Eastside (been coming for a year or so I think), and another on The Hill who I witnessed for the first time yesterday whose constant (and vile) abuse of the officials and opposition players is simply unfunny and must put many people off. Both are in the 50+ age group. I actually left the Hill at half time because of the latter bloke. Note that none of this was specifically directed at Horsham fans (nor the lady physio for that matter) - but it's not a good advert for the club or for new visitors. I'm no snowflake. Passion is important and well placed insults and swearing are all part of the game, especially if done humorously. In fact a new fan mentioned to me that he'd heard banter on the Eastside that he'd not heard in years at West Ham and will be coming back for sure. But I do think we fans (especially the readership of the forum who tend to be relatively balanced) need to self-regulate some of these newcomers. This, I think, is much more worthy of debate than some random/lone Horsham fan's comments on twitter.

True, but not sure we want to associate with it ... https://www.scotsman.com/lifestyle-2-15039/scottish-word-of-the-week-haver-1-2872850

Yes Mike. Mais bien sur. This is a free speech site where views may be openly expressed without fear of persecution or mickey-taking. Except the Prediction League Threads. Which remain a bastion of Stalinist repression and misery. As you have indeed discovered. Talking of which - we still have a vacancy in the League for the New Year for anyone whose misery quota is not currently topped up - see other threads to join or even reply on this one. (May as well give it a shameless plug while I'm here). By the way - we'll do'em 2-1

It is not normally my style to ignore a question. Good manners and all that. But on this occasion the final result was on the cusp of being published - and to re-enforce the horror of the margin of Mike's defeat on this thread would have been rubbing salt into the wound. I thought I'd spare him that pain.

Thanks Colin. You are too kind. But it's the only opportunity I get to insult people without risking life & limb. True dat. You'd think Mr Hat of Uist and Lord Upminster of Spalding would subsidise the travel north (see Guernsey FC), but no - they claim poverty and something to do with the expenses of supporting the "prediction league outreach programme". Whatever that is. Stuff that.... WHERE'S MY THE MONEY? PS - I'll let you off - stick a tenner on the MND fund for me. You coming to a game soon?

And so it came to pass that The Chins cruised home against Dulwich (never in doubt - well done chaps - bring on Notts County etc etc). And in in the Play Off final Sir Colin cruised home over fellow newbie MikeMike. (Final score 7-4 if anyone cares). Nb - Mike has now twice backed a Chins' defeat - and each time has had his come-uppance. Just saying Mike. So - well done Colin - welcome to the Big Boys' League - and Hard Lines to MikeMike who, notwithstanding his Urchin treachery, fought hard but was up against the guy who fixes the crowd numbers. (And seemingly failed - maybe Sir Colin is not all-powerful after all!). By the way your knighthood is reinstated after serving your 2 month ban for ungentlemanly conduct. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - We will now have a well-deserved winter break to allow the grass to recover and for you to reassess the strengths and weaknesses of your squads. Mr D has the trophy for a few months following an emotional ceremony in the bar yesterday (thankyou Colin for one of your trademark presentations) The hard thing is to retain it at the end of the Spring season - a feat only ever achieved by the Great One. (Ozz). Finally - Merry Christmas one and all and we will start up again in January There is still one space remaining for a bargain fiver. Otherwise the Dummy Team will be strutting their ineptitude again (much to the relief of Dinamo) - just let me know if you want it, either on here or via jago99@outlook.com Final tables reprinted below :