Paying the Preacher

[Burnham Lad]

The local Preacher explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave.

 

Mike Smith, who owns car dealerships in Manchester, Stockport and Crewe, stands up and proclaims: "If the Preacher stays, I will provide him with a new Ford every year and his wife with a Honda to transport their children!"

 

The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

 

Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says, "If the Preacher will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education of his children!"

 

More sighs and loud applause.

 

Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, "if the preacher stays, I will give him s*x."

 

There is total silence.

 

The Preacher, blushing, asks her: "Mrs. Jones, whatever possessed you to say that?"

 

Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies: "Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, 'F***k the Preacher'.