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Webbo MFI

Wanted - amusing football quotes

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Said during a tactical discussion between 1 of the co-managers and 2 fans...

'You've got to put away your penalties.'

Said on the terraces at Billericay, when the score was 0-0, before we won 5-1...

'It's got 0-0 written all over it'

Said on the terraces at Gravesend by someone who wishes to remain anonymous...

'We'll go 1-0 down before we go 1-0 up.'

Said to Clare and Helen...

'How much would we have to pay for a lesbian threesome, between you two and Younis? We'll have a whip round.'

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Said by Claire
"That Danny Honeyball well fancys me"
Said by Gary Roberts
"We're gonna try and get Danny Honeyball to snog that Claire"

Said by Everyone in EFM
"we're gonna win the leauge this year"

Said by Colin Zeal EFM
" I love my mates"
" I love my hell"
"I broke a wingmirror, tell me I didn't do it"
" I'm Paul by the way (always works - so it seems)

Said by Jimbob out of Carter USM
"Don't forget my gig's at the Hope and Anchor over the next three months espeically the 7th August featuring Sniffer Thorns as guest DJ"

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When Henrys shot came off the bar in the second half, my missus asked if he was the same one "who hit the pole" in the first half.

and I used to play for a pub team and one of the players wifes used to shout 'man on board' every time an opposing player went near him.

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I'm not alone then SSL.

Whenever the last Olympics were taking place, I went up to the bedroom early doors. [Did you like that "early doors"? That's the only football bit in this story.]

Anyway. It was early in the morning.

Says I " Hey. Stephen Redgrave has won his 5th gold medal. How about that?"

Says she " That's very good. What does he do?"

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steve Trulock to Andy Polston at Purfleet "That booking means youll miss the Bank holiday monday game Polst.

Polst replies "is that a Saturday match ?"

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I always liked the one about Jimmy Sirrel of Notts County who, after 9 of his players had been booked in a match against someone, is reported to have said "I will be questioning the committment of the other two".

Oh well, please yourselves.

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Craven cottage just after the final whistle following the 0-2 defeat of Alan Dick's Fulham side by Hayes in the F.A.C 1st round 1991-92:

(from the home end) "dicks out, dicks out, dicks out"

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Martin Patterson at Hastings as Dickie "the pie" Harper walked past.... " he isn't as old as he looks....... how old is he? "

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