Modern Proverbs

[Burnham Lad]

PROVERBS

 

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

 

2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

 

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

 

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

 

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

 

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

 

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

 

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

 

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

 

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

 

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.

 

12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

 

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

 

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

 

15. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

 

16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

 

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

 

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

 

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

 

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

 

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

 

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

[Little Miss Urchin]

Quote:

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

Plural!?

[Burnham Lad]

 

Plural!?

 

Yep! It's all a matter of interpretation, LMU, I bet both of yours are big ones (brains of course!)

 

With thanks to Dan Eden, www.viewzone.com/bicam.html:

 

"We'll keep this light and uncomplicated. Our brain, like the rest of our anatomy, is made up of two halves, a left brain a right brain. There's a big fold that goes from front to back in our brain, essentially dividing it into two distinct and separate parts. Well, almost separate. They are connected to each other by a thick cable of nerves at the base of each brain. This sole link between the two giant processors is called the corpus collosum. Think of it as a SCSI cable or network connection between two incredibly fast and immensely powerful computer processors, each running different programs from the same input.

 

The left side of our body is "wired" to the right side of our brain, and vice versa. For whatever reason nature did this cross-over, it applies even to our eyes, which process their sensory data on opposite sides of the brain."

 

 

 

[Little Miss Urchin]

Interesting stuff - I even understand most of it. Except, what's a SCSI cable?

[Burnham Lad]

SCSI - Small Computer Systems Interface:

An intelligent peripheral I/O interface with a standard, device independent protocol that allows many different peripheral devices to be attached to the host's SCSI port.

 

Don't ask me any more than that - or I am in trouble too, LMU!

[Little Miss Urchin]

So I shouldn't ask what this means then...

Quote:

peripheral I/O interface with a standard, device independent protocol that allows many different peripheral devices to be attached to the host's SCSI port.

....?

[Burnham Lad]

Weellll---- your toe bones connected to your footbone,

 

Your footbones connected to your ankle bone,

 

Your ankle bones connected to your leg bone,.....

 

ETC

 

Now hear de word of de Lord!!

 

I think it is something similar with computer cables!

 

 

[Little Miss Urchin]

That and they break/disconnect far too easily for our likings!