Ansaphone Messages

[Burnham Lad]

1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

 

2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

 

3. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents,please send money. If you are my Bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

 

4. Hi. Now you say something.

 

5. Hi, I'm not home right now, but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.

 

6. Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?

 

7. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner!

 

8. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

 

9. If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now or carving up a steak for the pit bull and the rottweiller, and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave a message.

 

10. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

 

11. Hello, you've reached Paul and Molly. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Molly likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right . . . really slowly. So leave a message; and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll get back to you.

[Urchin Boy]

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