New Virus Alert !!!!!!

[Big J R]

OK ! Yes, this is from the States, but still funny !

 

_______________________________________

 

WARNING . . . Watch out for these new viruses - Neither Symantec or McAfee or Norton have any solutions for these yet!!!

 

The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.

 

The Clinton Virus - Gives you a 7-inch Hard Drive with NO memory.

 

The Bob Dole (aka Viagra) Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

 

The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your Computer, then e-mails

everyone about what it did.

 

The Ronald Reagan Virus - Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

 

The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.

 

The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 300 Mb hard drive shrinks to 100 Mb, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 200 Mb.

 

The Jack Kevorkian Virus - Deletes all old files.

 

The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.

 

The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.

 

The Joey Buttafuoco Virus - Only attacks minor files.

 

The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.

 

AND THE FAVORITE .

 

The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy

. . then discards it through Windows !!

 

 

 

<img src="/images/graemlins/arcadefreak.gif" alt="" />

[lanceyboyuk]

that was funny but some people would get worried

[Urchin Boy]

<img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

[Burnham Lad]

Ah - but is Windows a virus?

 

A. No, Windows is not a virus. Why? Because here's what viruses do:

 

1) They replicate quickly -- okay, Windows does that.

 

2) Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so -- okay, Windows does that.

 

3) Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk -- okay, Windows does that too.

 

4) Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. Sigh.. Windows does that, too.

 

5) Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. Yup, that's with Windows, too.

 

Maybe Windows is a virus.

 

Nope! There is a difference!

 

Viruses are well supported by their authors, are frequently updated, and tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

 

So there! Windows is NOT a virus.

 

It is a bug.