Shoot The Translator !!!

[Big J R]

[color:"red"] TOURIST INFORMATION NOTICES – SHOOT THE TRANSLATOR !

(Some Old - Some New.)

 

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From a cocktail lounge in Norway:

“Ladies are requested under no circumstances to have children in the bar”.

 

At Budapest Zoo:

“If you have food for the animals, you must give it to the keeper”.

 

In a Rome doctor’s office:

“Specialist in women and other diseases”.

 

In an Acapulco hotel:

“The manager has personally passed all the water served here”.

 

Air conditioning instructions from a Japanese hotel:

“Cool and heat: if you want air in your room, please control yourself”.

 

Sign in gents’ toilet in Tokyo:

“To stop leak, turn [****!!****] to the right”.

 

In a Nairobi restaurant:

“Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager”.

 

At the entrance to a private school:

“No trespassing without permission”.

 

On a riverside road:

“Beware! When this notice is under water, the road is impassable”.

 

At an adult education centre:

“Are you an adult that cannot read? If so, we can help”.

 

Outside a Greek clinic:

“Mental Health Prevention Centre”.

 

At an Indian maternity ward:

“No children allowed”.

 

In a cemetery:

“Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves”.

 

Sign in Spanish hotel bathroom:

“To prevent release, do not pull [****!!****] in tub”.

 

Tokyo hotel’s rules:

“You no smoke or do other disgusting behaviours in bed”.

 

On a Swiss menu:

“Our wines leave you nothing to hope for”.

 

In a Bangkok temple:

“It is forbidden to enter a woman even if dressed as a man”.

 

Hotel brochure, Italy:

“This hotel is renowned for its peace and solitude. In fact, huge crowds come from all over the world for this purpose”.

 

Hotel lobby, Bucharest:

“The lift broke. You are unbearable”.

 

Hotel lobby, Paris:

“Please leave your values at the front desk”.

 

Notice in Croatian hotel:

“The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid”.

 

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel:

“You cross the road to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday. Also you go left along the road to the art gallery where you see works by 15,000 Russian painters and sculptors all executed over the last two years”.

 

Supermarket, Hong Kong:

“For your convenience we recommend fast, courteous and efficient self-service”.

 

In a Kenyan newspaper:

“The new swimming pool is taking shape rapidly now that the contractor has thrown in most of his men”.

 

Hotel, Zurich:

“Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedrooms, we suggest you use only the lobby for this purpose”.

 

Advertisement outside a Hong Kong dental surgery:

“All extractions by the latest Methodists”.

 

Sign at an Italian laundry:

“Ladies! Leave your clothes here and just spend the afternoon having a good time”.

 

Advertisement by a Czech tourist agency:

“Take one of our horse-drawn city tours. We guarantee no miscarriages”.

 

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:

“Would you like to ride on your own ass?”

 

 

On the box of a Chinese clockwork souvenir:

“Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life”.

 

Sign at a Black Forest camping site:

“It is strongly forbidden on this beautiful site that people of different sex (for instance, men and women) go in the same tent unless married for this purpose”.

 

At a Swiss mountain-top restaurant:

“Special today – no ice cream”.

 

And at an airline agency in Copenhagen:

“We will take off your bags and send them going in all directions”.

 

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