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Jago

Prediction Lg; Wk 2 results, wk 3 fixtures, by 14 Sep (15:00)

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Afternoon all.  Decent win yesterday.  I said that last week as well – so I’m keeping it for good luck.  This will cause a problem if I can’t post until a Monday, but no doubt I’ll work something out. 

And talking of working something out, I have great pleasure in announcing a replacement for Serge Keeper – in the slender form of a mystery manager who goes by the name Sir Colin with his crack team, Ivor Stand.  Many thanks for stepping into the breach Sir C.  Nb. Sir Colin will post via Whatsapp – if anyone else wants to do this please let me know (we did it a couple of seasons ago for those who found it difficult to post on the forum, though it does cut the banter a bit). 

Down in the technical weeds this means Sir Colin will take over Serge’s fixtures, and be awarded 6 goals for his first match as if he were the Dummy Team.  If anyone objects (presumably serial moaners Hatted and Dinamo), take it up with the management. Remember - we are a democracy where I am Boris and Cup of Tea is Dominic Cummings.

In fact Sir Colin had an auspicious start, albeit he had the gentlest of introductions against Fat Tom.  But let me just say we will need to be very careful with the attendance prediction going forward!

So what else happened?  Well Blackballed lost his first match in over a year (which will be good for his burgeoning hubris) and Lady Jago got the “attendance as cooked up by Sir Colin” spot on yet still lost to King of the League, Ozz.  Mr D is the surprise new leader, but those who saw him in Div 2 last season will confirm he’s no Mug of Tea * and could go all the way.   In Div 2, MikeMike looks to be the new guy to beat – while at the basement Mick, Dinamo and Dummy all look to be settling into the bottom 3 like a Tesco trolley in the bed of the Ingrebourne.  And yes, I was extremely lucky.

* - I’m actually quite proud of that one!

Finally, please note that the Zambia v South Africa match was called off due to political unrest so everyone scores zero. It also means that the 13 goals scored by this week’s joint Golden Bootists was pretty impressive.  I can’t be arsed to name them but you can work it out for yourselves if you can be bothered.

Here it all is in glorious techniolor monochrome:

UPMINSTER DIVISION

image.png.c4e5f07c2924f6de3076c72214bb0359.png

image.png.e3443afc781b2c657502ab2e4008f93c.png

COLLIER ROW SOUTH
image.png.7883ca645319ebe8acc7faea5fc44a3d.png

image.png.ef902eda8d71a591e7948a742b27a53f.png

NEXT WEEK'S FIXTURES :

image.png.2d5b8b64d1d3b571aeba386bf618079d.png

Please predict on this lot:

Predictions : 2019-20 Autumn League – Week 3 – 14 Sep by 3pm - none of that early stuff to confuse Wivvers

FC Koln v B. Monchengladbach
Wolves v Chelsea
Sheffield Utd v Southampton
Daggers v Hartlepool
Carshalton v Hornchurch
Attendance :

OK, that's enough -back to the torture of the fourth test.
Jago

Edited by Jago

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I note I still have my previous team's branding on the League Table which os clearly why we were unfairly defeated this weekend. Petitioning the league to get the game replayed midweek due to this oversight which has clearly cost us.

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FC Koln 1 v 2 B. Monchengladbach
Wolves 2 v 1 Chelsea
Sheffield Utd 2 v 1 Southampton
Daggers 1 v 2 Hartlepool
Carshalton 1 v 2 Hornchurch
Attendance : 412

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Top of the league, who'd've thunk it. Total beginner's luck and I'm certain that a crash and burn is imminent.

I didn't even realise I'd joined this game as I was drunk in charge of a laptop but I've always taken responsibility for my active stupidity.

I'm looking forwards to visiting Carshalton as I haven't been there since Thurrock's Conference South days.

FC Koln 0 v 3 B. Monchengladbach
Wolves 1 v 3 Chelsea
Sheffield Utd 2 v 1 Southampton
Daggers 1 v 1 Hartlepool
Carshalton 2 v 1 Hornchurch
Attendance : 406

 

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Down in the technical weeds this means Sir Colin will take over Serge’s fixtures, and be awarded 6 goals for his first match as if he were the Dummy Team.  If anyone objects (presumably serial moaners Hatted and Dinamo), take it up with the management. Remember - we are a democracy where I am Boris and Cup of Tea is Dominic Cummings.

Oooh. Can I have 6 goals too please?

I get the bumbling buffoon analogy for you and Boris, but I never had Si pegged as the Prince of Darkness to be honest.

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Prince of Darkness - Depends on how many pints of Guinness I have :) (don't know what the plural of Guinness is , there seems to be a dispute), 

FC Koln 1 v 2 B. Monchengladbach
Wolves 1 v 2 Chelsea
Sheffield Utd 1 v 2 Southampton
Daggers 2 v 1 Hartlepool
Carshalton 1 v 3 Hornchurch
Attendance :
430

Edited by cup of tea

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I see the Chuckle Brothers (Hatted and Dinamo) are up to their normal comedy routine.  It's nice to know, in these turbulent times, that some things will never change.

On 08/09/2019 at 17:32, The Hatted Urchin said:

I note I still have my previous team's branding on the League Table which os clearly why we were unfairly defeated this weekend. Petitioning the league to get the game replayed midweek due to this oversight which has clearly cost us.

No.  Petition rejected under the little-used  "rose by any other name" rule (Rule 44.8 Para 5.7.2).    Or in your case "trump by any other name" (Rule 44.8 Para 5.7.2 (Scotland))

9 hours ago, Dinamo Urchin said:

Oooh. Can I have 6 goals too please?

Certainly, though quite why you want to go down from 14 goals to 6 is a mystery to me.

 

Meanwhile a quick note for MikeMike - I know you're new here and all that but it's not quite the done thing to back against the Urchins.   It's not a rule as such, just good manners.  (Draws are acceptable). 

On a happier note, here are Sir Colin's predictions for Ivor Stand:

FC Koln  1-1  B. Monchengladbach
Wolves  1-2  Chelsea
Sheffield Utd  2-2  Southampton
Daggers  1-0  Hartlepool
Carshalton  1-2  Hornchurch
Attendance : 410

 

 

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FC Koln 1 v 2 B. Monchengladbach
Wolves 2 v 1 Chelsea
Sheffield Utd  1 v  1 Southampton
Daggers 2 v 1 Hartlepool
Carshalton 1 v 2 Hornchurch
Attendance : 398

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FC Koln 1 v 2 B. Monchengladbach
Wolves 2 v 3 Chelsea
Sheffield Utd  2 v  2 Southampton
Daggers 1 v 0 Hartlepool
Carshalton 0 v 2 Hornchurch
Attendance : 372

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Sorry if it's bad form but if you include Hornchurch as one of the teams to predict on then I'm going to give my best guess.
If an honest guess isn't allowed then you shouldn't include the fixture - or should only ask for a prediction on Hornchurch goals but not the opposition.

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FC Koln 2v2 B. Monchengladbach
Wolves 2v1 Chelsea
Sheffield Utd 1v0 Southampton
Daggers 2v0 Hartlepool
Carshalton 0v2 Hornchurch
Attendance : 412

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11 hours ago, MikeMike said:

Sorry if it's bad form but if you include Hornchurch as one of the teams to predict on then I'm going to give my best guess.
If an honest guess isn't allowed then you shouldn't include the fixture - or should only ask for a prediction on Hornchurch goals but not the opposition.

It’s just a bit of jesting MikeMike , there’s a lot of that going on with this competition. I’m the prince of darkness apparently :) On our form,  I wouldn’t bet against us though!!! (Lewis Smith might !!!) 

Edited by cup of tea

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On 11/09/2019 at 20:39, MikeMike said:

Sorry if it's bad form but if you include Hornchurch as one of the teams to predict on then I'm going to give my best guess.
If an honest guess isn't allowed then you shouldn't include the fixture - or should only ask for a prediction on Hornchurch goals but not the opposition.

Chill Mikey - see Cup of Tea post. Tradition innit, but iconoclasts welcome...  Though I will say the last person to back against the 'Chins was Luke - and he's been marooned in Div 2 ever since.  It could be a curse?

Simon - I quite like you as the Prince of Darkness.  Guinness I assume.

Anyways, the Wizzzards are going ...

FC Koln  2-1  B. Monchengladbach
Wolves  1-2  Chelsea
Sheffield Utd  1-0  Southampton
Daggers  1-1  Hartlepool
Carshalton  1-2  Hornchurch
Attendance : 388

 

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FC Koln 1 v 1 B. Monchengladbach
Wolves 1 v 2 Chelsea
Sheffield Utd 2 v 1 Southampton
Daggers 1 v 2 Hartlepool
Carshalton 0 v 1 Hornchurch
Attendance : 435

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FC Koln 1 v 0 B. Monchengladbach
Wolves 1 v 2 Chelsea
Sheffield Utd 2 v 1 Southampton
Daggers 2 v 1 Hartlepool
Carshalton 1 v 2 Hornchurch
Attendance : 404

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Marshland Mardlers

FC Koln 2 - 1 B. Monchengladbach
Wolves 3 - 2 Chelsea
Sheffield Utd 1 - 0 Southampton
Daggers 2 - 0 Hartlepool
Carshalton 0 - 1 Hornchurch
Attendance : 396

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23 hours ago, Jago said:

Chill Mikey - see Cup of Tea post. Tradition innit, but iconoclasts welcome...  Though I will say the last person to back against the 'Chins was Luke - and he's been marooned in Div 2 ever since.  It could be a curse?

Mikey is a completely different ex-Thurrock supporter :)
You're lucky my mum hasn't got the internet because the last person to call me Mikey nearly got castrated.
And as John Cleese put it in Fawlty Towers "you started it......."
Anyhoo, my real world money has gone on Hornchurch so call me a hypocrite.
I thought Hornchurch would lose against Worthing as well so that shows how much I know.


I'm really looking forward to tomorrow as I've not been to Carshalton since Conference South days 

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