Sing you hearts out for the lads.

[Mark (Flag) Braintree]

What is your best Ryman chant.

The best one of ours was a couple of seasons ago,(3) Gravesend won the league, Canvey 2nd, Aldershot 3rd and the Iron 4th. (How times have moved on)

 

Canvey needed to win at Cressing Rd and hope Gravesend lost,they did not, so when we went 1.0 up at home, we were singing. To the tune of Dads Army. (For the record we won 2.1)

 

Who do you think you are kidding Canvey island if you think the league is won.

We are the boys who will stop your winning ways

We are the boys that will make you think again

So who do you think you are kidding Canvey Island if you think the league is won.

 

Whats yours?

 

 

[Urchin Boy]

Erm ... Hornchurch Have Loads

 

One That Is Sung Fairly Often, Infact After An Opposition Player Has Shot Wide Or Missed The Ball !

 

What The [***!!***] El Was That

What The [***!!***] El Was That

[GarySTFC]

Slough have their own rendition of Parklife to the tune of Blur's Parklife chorus. Tied in nicely with the fact we used to play at Wexham Park as well!

 

"All the Rebels

So Many Rebels

They All Go Hand In Hand

Hand In Hand Through Their

Parklife"

 

Used to sound great with an accompanying drum doing the beat.

 

So far this season, I think there have been two.

 

One aimed at the Windsor manager Dennis Greene in our Boxing Day clash:

 

"Who's your father,

Who's your father

Who's your father Dennis Greene?

You ain't got one

You're a ba$tard

Who's your father Dennis Greene?"

 

And on Saturday at Worthing in light of this Victor Gladwish bloke investing into a lot of non-league footie clubs:

 

"You can stick your Victor Gladwish up yer ar$e!"

[EFM The Firm, The Voice]

St.Albans have a huge amount, mainly due to our super wit!

 

I'm not telling you any though as you'd just copy them!

 

[JaredSUFC]

Similar to the lines of the b@stard chant, Sutton used to sing this to Matt Gray, who's hair cut left a lot to be desired

 

Who's your barber, who's you barber,

Who' your barber matty gray?

You aint got one, get a hair cut

get a hair cut Matty Gray

[YELLOW]

Quote:

Mark (Flag) Braintree said:
What is your best Ryman chant.
The best one of ours was a couple of seasons ago,(3) Gravesend won the league, Canvey 2nd, Aldershot 3rd and the Iron 4th. (How times have moved on)

Canvey needed to win at Cressing Rd and hope Gravesend lost,they did not, so when we went 1.0 up at home, we were singing. To the tune of Dads Army. (For the record we won 2.1)

Who do you think you are kidding Canvey island if you think the league is won.
We are the boys who will stop your winning ways
We are the boys that will make you think again
So who do you think you are kidding Canvey Island if you think the league is won.

Whats yours?

I remember that well Mark. Adam Miller in tears at the end, not a pleasant day! About 20 of us invaded the pitch at the end, your stewards were not happy!

Best chants:

The circus theme music we started singing at Braintree when your keeper let in a soft goal a few weeks ago and your defenders made complete hashes of clearances.

To Bedford:

"We've got a roundabout, we've got a roundabout, you haven't!"

To Bognor:

"Kings' is better than Butlins!"

To Hornchurch

"Upminster and you know you are!"

[GarySTFC]

Can't believe I forgot the ones in the Trophy match against Stortford. Slough player goes in for a tackle and stays down, play continues. Ball is played from left back to centre back who hears the shout 'OUT' from the keeper. (The full back was precariously close to the touchline with the ball.) The centre back, who had earlier also scored an og, simply stopped whilst our centre forward runs past him and pokes the ball home.

 

BS fans not happy. STFC fans too busy laughing before the two chanted taunts:

 

"Did you hear the whistle blow? No-oh, No-oh"

 

AND

 

"Play to the whistle, you've got to play to the whistle"

 

Funniest moment I've seen in many a year, and the lucky Sky cameraman (Doing a feature on Essandoh) got it on film!

[Paul King]

Billericay:

On saturday, i heard this good one, to the tune of "o when the saints"

The Ryman League

The Ryman League

Is upside Down

is upside Down

The Ryman League is upside down, we're going up with the Harrow, the ryman league is upside down!!!

[Mark (Flag) Braintree]

Another one of ours, used this season, which made the people on the side of the Qwag end laugh.

By the Qwag end boys.

EXPLANATION TO THE PEOPLE IN THE CHANT.

(Bq is our Captain,Bradley Quinton who was sick at Ollie Blackwell, our defenders 21st party)

(Onslow is our big boned raffle ticket seller)

Here goes.

 

Posh Spice is a slapper

Onslow cant see his dick

give him half a shandy

and Bq will be sick.

***************

Posh spice is a slapper

she likes going down

and when shes [***!!***] Beckham

she thinks of Braintree Town.

[joshtheeagle]

I've heard the posh spice one in a southampton song:

Posh spice is a slapper

Her knickers smell of cod

When shes [***!!***] beckham

she dreams of ormerod

[rich sparkes]

when the ball hits the goal

its not shearer or cole

its lee boylan

[Matt]

5-0 up against Rushden in the Conference:

 

(to the tune of 'how wide do you want the goal)

 

Welcome to the Conference !

 

and

 

Brazil of the Conference !

[Mr Happy]

Although we're not Ryman (yet) I thought I'd chip in. Playing in the Essex Senior League but being based in Middlesex someon proudly shouts:

 

Middle, middle, middle

 

and then we all respond:

 

Sex, sex, sex!

[EFM The Firm, The Voice]

All these chants are terrible!!!!!!!!!!

 

Where's the "We've got private houses" and "Candy Floss", Saints were of course the team that started "you're just a pub team from essex"

 

Singing Walton and Hersham to the theme from rhubarb and custard isn't a good chant - witty chants about social observations are!

 

Scarfers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mr Happy]

In the 80's, when Liverpool wasn't the city of culture that it is now(ha ha) I remember Spursa fans singing to the scousers:

 

In your Liverpool slums

In your Liverpool slums

You look in the dustbin for something to eat

You find a dead cat and you think it's a treat

In your Liverpool slums

 

 

[Matt]

Sung at Boxing Day vs Windsor: (Rob Anderson is the head of the council)

 

Sleighbells ring, snow is glistening

Rob Anderson, are you listening

We want back to Slough

And we want it now

Get us out of Windsor right away

[JaredSUFC]

Especially for Heybridge (To the tune of the Adams Family

 

Your sister is your mother

your brother is your father

you like to f*ck each other

The Heybridge family

[Mr Happy]

although taking the mickey out of my team, when we played Enfield in the Middlesex Charity cup earlier in the season the few EFC fans were singing "Enfield Town is a railway station". Quite funny I thought. Then we whipped their asses!!