Jago Posted July 26, 2020 Share Posted July 26, 2020 Good evening everyone. The good news is we didn't need to resort to the tie-breaker as that would have been heartbreaking for all after such an emotionally charged season. Or something. The other good news is that, in time-honoured tradition, Lord Upminster has agreed to waive his prize money (good man). Mr D did likewise for the Autumn season (thank you sir), so we can contribute £140 to the Supporters' Association to help with the ground improvements. These worthy champions will of course be given free entry for next year. The total should become a few dollars more once the outstanding debtor (you know who you are) has been tracked down and beaten mercillesly with a wet haggis. Further good news, but for Luke XiX only, is that he surprisingly won the play-off final 9-7 against Black-"what are the rules again?"-Balled. Unlucky Dibs (and yes I do know you were the top scorer in the league - but I'm afraid life is famously not fair). But it's a welcome back to the Big Time for Luke (subject to St Lukie's Park getting its "Level 1" grading which is now more onerous than last time you were here - see me for backhander options). Onto next year - I guess we'll do it again. I mean, what else do you have going on? We will need a minimum of 17 teams for MikeMike and Luke to definitely be promoted - but as we had 19 this year that should be fine. If we get new players then reprieves from relegation may also come into play (COYS normally bags one so that's where my money would go). Final positions are as below. Note that Ozz will be appearing in the Collier Row division for the first time ever, though it's not yet clear if some of those tinpot grounds (Lady Jago Park, Dinamo Field and the like) can accommodate his enormous and rather volatile travelling fan base. We shall see... Upminster Division Also-ran Division Honours Board Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeMike Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 Gadsooks Sirrah, Your profligacy with "so-called rules" makes Mr. Cummings et al look like amateurs!! One minute I bag the last automatic promotion spot, next minute it's "but only if enough people can be bothered to play" I haven't seen such shameless front since I last got chugged walking down City Road. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jago Posted July 28, 2020 Author Share Posted July 28, 2020 2 hours ago, MikeMike said: Gadsooks Sirrah, Your profligacy with "so-called rules" makes Mr. Cummings et al look like amateurs!! One minute I bag the last automatic promotion spot, next minute it's "but only if enough people can be bothered to play" I haven't seen such shameless front since I last got chugged walking down City Road. You see the thing is Mike that I have no authority or influence in real life. So you can't blame me for living out my fantasy of self-importance via this thing. But more seriously... Unfortunately there's a problem if we get 15 or 16 as then we'd need two divisions of 8, which essentially means 4 down 2 up - we can't realistically promote all 4 and demote 6. It's always been like this I'm afraid - see rule 18.6i para 4.3, (and various references throughout the season). There is the option of running with 10 in div 1 and 6 in div 2 but it would require significant overhaul of the excel and I can't be arsed! (And more to the point it doesn't really make sense for those you have callously left behind in div 2). Though I guess we could bring this in for future seasons. Anyway, the good news is it's never happened as we are A MAJOR SUCCESS STORY in an ocean of on-line mediocrity. (Well we did once revert to 16 but fortunately two players from Div 1 "resigned" so all four from div 2 got promoted anyway). If we don't get enough players but one resigns from the top 6 in div 1 then you'd be promoted but Luke wouldn't. Good job he's not reading this (actually it apepars he is!). In extremis you can always buy a few more teams and run them in your uncle's/aunt's/lover's name. Which is what I do (as if anyone really thinks I have a wife and child). If we get 17 (which is more a possibilty) then we'd run Div 1 with 10, and Div 2 with 7 plus dummy team - so you and Luke would be fine. A further nuance (just in case you're still awake) is that with 8 in a division it's 3 up 3 down (1 via play-off). Question - are there more brackets in the above 2 paragraphs than any previous in history? If, heaven forbid, we got down to 14 or so we'd go back to one division, so that would also work. Anyway, I've engaged Slaughter and May to help my argument. Though they did say it was rather hopeless. Jago Cummings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fat Tom Daley Posted July 29, 2020 Share Posted July 29, 2020 Thanks again for organising Jago. Triffic job! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeMike Posted July 29, 2020 Share Posted July 29, 2020 20 hours ago, Jago said: There is the option of running with 10 in div 1 and 6 in div 2 but it would require significant overhaul of the excel and I can't be arsed! I love a bit of Excel I does. I can do Sums and Averages and on a good day some conditional formatting, although if you are talking to my guvnor you can mention that my Visual Basic is the most exquisite coding you have ever seen. In extremis you can always buy a few more teams and run them in your uncle's/aunt's/lover's name. That would only be one extra team though as my non-binary relative Tom Sapphire Moonbeam is very modern and promiscuous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MR D Posted July 30, 2020 Share Posted July 30, 2020 You’ll have to let me know when I can hand the trophy back over Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jago Posted July 30, 2020 Author Share Posted July 30, 2020 19 hours ago, MR D said: You’ll have to let me know when I can hand the trophy back over As Lord Upminster won it and he's not allowed out of his Open Prison somewhere in Suffolk (or Norfolk?) I suggest you cling onto it for now (please feel free to interject My Lord). PM me your address and I'll send you the stickers to add to the base so you can show it off to all your disbelieving friends (and Ray). I think there are 2 spaces left but please confirm...if not it's back to the Trophy shop. Toodle Pip Jago Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MR D Posted July 31, 2020 Share Posted July 31, 2020 3 hours ago, Jago said: As Lord Upminster won it and he's not allowed out of his Open Prison somewhere in Suffolk (or Norfolk?) I suggest you cling onto it for now (please feel free to interject My Lord). PM me your address and I'll send you the stickers to add to the base so you can show it off to all your disbelieving friends (and Ray). I think there are 2 spaces left but please confirm...if not it's back to the Trophy shop. Toodle Pip Jago There’s no spaces left so unfortunately you’ll have to go back to the trophy shop... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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