wise words indeed

[CANV EFM]

Marriage is like taking a hot bath. After you've been in it for a while...

it isn't so hot.

 

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and

think, 'Well, that's not going to happen."

 

If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and can't tell

who the sucker is----> it's you.

 

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of

nothing.

 

I asked Mom if I was a gifted child... she said she certainly wouldn't have

paid for me.

 

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks

about seeing UFOs like they used to.

 

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a

woman is their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is

they're a bunch of liars.

 

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to

criticism.

 

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a

substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

 

In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world IS weird

and people take Prozac to make it normal.

 

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to

realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

 

There is a theory, which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what

the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be

replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There

is another theory which states that this has already happened.

 

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole

box to start a barbecue?

 

Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment,

and he says, "I wish you'd come to me sooner."