The fairytale of Douglas the crab !

[vienna1964]

Douglas the humble Crab and Kate the Lobster Princess were madly, deeply and passionately in Love.

For months they enjoyed an idyllic, if somewhat furtive relationship until one day Kate scuttled over to Douglas in a state of abject distress.

 

"We can't see each other any more..." she sobbed.

 

"Why?" gasped Douglas.

 

"Daddy says that crabs are too common," she wailed. "He claims you are a mere crab, and a poor one at that, and crabs are the lowest

class of crustacean and that no daughter of his will marry someone who can only walk sideways."

 

 

Douglas was shattered, and scuttled sidewards away into the darkness to drink himself into a filthy state of aquatic oblivion.

 

That night, the great Lobster ball was taking place.

Lobsters came from far and wide, dancing and merry making, but the lobster Princess

refused to join in, choosing instead to sit by her father's side, inconsolable.

 

Suddenly the doors burst open, and Douglas the crab strode in !

 

The honkytonk piano fell silent and all the Lobsters stopped dancing - turning, mouths agape to the silent gatecrasher !

 

The Princess gasped in surprise and the King Lobster rose from his throne.

 

Slowly... painstakingly... very, very deliberately, Douglas the crab made his way across the dancefloor and the startled revellers parted to allow him passage towards the dais upon which the King and princess were standing, shocked.

 

And princess Kate gasped with admiration and the tears of love welled up in her eyes... for all present could see that Douglas, with strained precision was walking towards HER ! Not sideways, but FORWARDS... straight as a die ! Yes ! FORWARDS, one claw, one leg, another leg...painstakingly directed straight ahead... one after another !!!

 

Step by slow step he made his approach towards the throne, until he was close enough to look the King lobster directly in the eye...

 

There was a pregnant silence as Douglas appeared to gather his thoughts...

 

For quite a while...

 

Finally, the crab spoke...

 

 

[color:"red"] "F@ck, I'm pisshed."[/color] and threw up the half digested remains of a kebab all over the dais !!!