Night On The Tiles

[GarySTFC]

An Australian woman was having a shower and slipped over on the bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped over, did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor.

 

She yelled out for her husband Jacko. "Jacko! Jacko!" she yelled. Jacko came running in. "Jacko, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor" she said. "Strewth!" Jacko said and tried to pull her up."You're just too heavy girl. I'll go across the road and get Bluey"

 

They came back and they both tried to pull her up. "No way. We can't do it"

Bluey said "Lets try Plan C!" "Plan C?" exclaimed Jacko. "What's that"? I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we'll break the tiles under her."

 

"Spot on" Jacko said. "While you're doing that, I'll stay here and play with her tits!"

 

"Play with her tits"? Bluey said, "Why the hell would you want to do that"?

 

Jacko replied "Well, I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive."

[Wilf]

Must be the same "Jacko" who was walking along the beach, where he saw Sheila sunbathing.

 

Subtle as all Aussie men, he tried small talk - "G'day Sheila - fancy a quick sh*g?"

Sheila replied - "Not right now Jacko"

To which Jacko responded -"Well, do you mind laying still while I have one?"

[David Holden]

Are then he would be then who used the same line on a different woman:

 

"G'day Sheila - fancy a quick sh*g?"

 

"You've talked me into it you smooth talking [****!!****]," replied the woman.

[Big J R]

Are then there is the variation on a theme.

 

"G'day Sheila - fancy a quick sh*g?"

 

"Go away Bruce. No I don't !

 

"Then I suppose a B--w J-b is out of the question !" replied Bruce.