Quasimodo........

[Wilf]

....was performing oral sex on Esmeralda when he got a piece of carrot, some peas and some sweetcorn in his mouth.

He asked "Esmeralda - have you been sick?

 

"No - but the bloke before you was"

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.....came home to see Esmeralda carrying a wok.

"Oh goody - stir-fry tonight!"

"No" says Es - "I'm just ironing your shirt"

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....was in bed with Esmeralda, when she woke him and he saw that she was covered in multi'-coloured, stinking slime.

She said "Quasi - have you been sick?" and he admitted that he had.

"Thank God for that - I thought your hump had split open again!"

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....was up the top of the belltower when the "Big Ben" of Notre Dame cathedral struck the hour and in doing so, hit him on the side of the head, knocking him to the pavement 100ft below.

Two men surveyed the body and one said "How awful. Did you know this man?"

The other replied "No - but his face rings a bell"

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Q - What's small and square and wrapped in clingfilm?

 

A - The Lunchpack of Notre Dame.

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OK - so I probably can't spell Notre Dame

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[TACKLE1000]

Quasi gets home and sees his missus with a wok.He says "not chinese again!": and she says "no,i'm ironing your shirt