A belated Halloween gag

[Mr Happy]

A Halloween Story...

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> A man was walking home alone late one night

> when he hears a.......

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> BUMP...

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> BUMP...

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> BUMP... behind him.

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> Walking faster he looks back, and makes out the image of an upright

> coffin banging its way down the middle of the

> street towards him

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> BUMP...

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> BUMP...

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> BUMP...

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> Terrified, the man begins to run towards his home, the coffin

> bouncing

> quickly behind him ...

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> faster...

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> faster...

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> BUMP...

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> BUMP....

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> BUMP.

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> He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes

> in, slams and locks the door behind him.

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> However, the coffin crashes through his door, with the lid of the

> coffin clapping ..

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> clappity-BUMP...

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> clappity-BUMP...

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> clappity-BUMP...

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> clappity-BUMP...

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> on the heels of the terrified man.... .

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> Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart

> is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing

> gasps....

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> With a loud CRASH the coffin starts breaking down the door.

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> Bumping and clapping towards him.

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> The man screams and reaches for something heavy, anything ... his

> hand

> comes to rest on a large bottle of Cough Syrup

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> Desperate, he throws the Cough Syrup as

> hard as he can at the apparition.

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> and the coffin stops! Just like the bottle said it would.

 

[Pages]

> > A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, face all covered in

> >

> > fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some

> > sleep.

> >

> > Pretty soon all the other bats smelt the blood and began hassling him

> > about where he got it.

> >

> > He told them to bugger off and let him get some sleep, but they

> > persisted until he finally gave in.

> >

> > "OK, follow me", he said, and flew out of the cave with hundreds of

> > bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and

> > into a huge forest of trees.

> >

> > Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around

> > him tongues hanging out for blood.

> >

> > "Do you see that large oak tree over there?" he asked.

> >

> > "YES, YES, YES!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.

> >

> > "Good!" said the vampire bat, "Because I [censored] didn't."