The Speed Cop !

[Big J R]

I was "flying" down the road yesterday (i.e. 10mph over the speed limit),passing over a bridge only to find a cop with radar gun on the other side lying in wait !

 

The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk we all know and love, asked me "What's your hurry Sir ?"

 

"I'm late for work !", came the reply from my mouth.

 

"Oh yeah,what job do you do?" said the cop.

 

"I'm a Rectum Stretcher",I responded.

 

The copper was taken aback, "And just what does a 'Rectum Stretcher do?

 

"Well" I said..."I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers,three fingers, then four, then with my whole hand in I work side to side until I can get both hands in, slowly stretching until it's about 6 ft wide !"

 

"And just what do you do with a 6ft wide [censored] afterwards, Sir?" the policeman asked .

 

To which I politely replied..."You just give him a car, a radar gun, and park him behind a bridge....."

 

Speeding Fine £95 !