One for everyone, especially Fleet Boy

[Wilf]

Quotes taken from actual employees performance evaluations in a large US corporation. Sorry if you've already seen it.

 

1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom....and

has started to dig.

2. His men would follow him anywhere... but only out of morbid

curiosity.

3. I would not allow this employee to breed.

4. This employee is not so much of a "has been" but more of a

definite

"won't be".

5. Works well under constant supervision and cornered like a rat.

6. When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.

7. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.

8. This young lady has delusions of adequacy

9. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to

achieve them.

10. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

11. This employee should go far... and the sooner he starts the better.

12. For a full 6 pack but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all

together.

13. A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

14. He certainly take a long time to make his pointless.

15. He doesn't have ulcers but he's a carrier.

16. I would like to go hunting with him sometime.

17. He's been working with glue too much

18. He would argue with a signpost.

19. He has a knack for making strangers immediately.

20. He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.

21. When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell

22. If you see 2 people talking and one looks bored... he's the other

one.

23. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

24. A prime candidate for natural deselection.

25. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.

26. Gates are down, the lights are flashing but the train isn't coming.

27. Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

28. If he was any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

29. If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.

30. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

31. It's hard to believe he beat 1,000,000 other sperm to the egg.

32. One neurone short of a synapse.

33. Some drink of the fountain of knowledge...he only gargled.

34. Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

35. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

 

 

[Stu B]

thanks wilf,classic as ever,im honoured.

[Big J R]

Superrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrb!

 

Keep 'em coming

[Big J R]