Cosmetic Surgery !!!

[Big J R]

After her fifth child Lucy decided that she should have some cosmetic surgery "down below" to restore her former youthful glory, because her 'bits' were dangling a bit too low, and looked like a ripped out fireplace.

 

Time and children had taken its toll, and she reckoned that, with five children now being the limit, she'd tidy things with a nip here and a tuck there, so it looked more like a piggy bank slot than a badly packed kebab.

 

Following the operation, she awoke from her anaesthetic to find three roses at the end of the bed.

 

"Who are these from?" she asked the nurse, "They're very nice, but I'm a bit confused as to why I've received them".

 

"Well" said the nurse, "the first one is from the surgeon - the operation went so well, and you were such a model patient, that he wanted to say thanks".

 

"Ah, that's really nice" said Lucy.

 

"The second is from your husband - he's delighted the operation was such a success that he can't wait to get you home. Apparently it'll be the first time he's touched the sides for years, and he's very excited !"

 

"Brilliant!" said Lucy, "And the third ?"

 

"That's from Eric in the Intensive Burns unit" said the nurse. "He just wanted to say thanks ever so much for his new ears !!"