Three wishes

[Dave Hedgehog]

A man, an ostrich and a cat go into a pub.

 

The man says, "I'll have a pint of beer."

 

He looks at the ostrich and says, "What will you have?"

 

"I'll have a pint of beer" says the ostrich. He looks at the cat,

"What will you have?"

 

"Half a pint of beer - but I'm not paying."

 

"That will be £4.55" says the bartender.

 

So the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exactly

£4.55.

 

The next day after work the man goes into the

same bar.

 

"What'll it be today?" says the bartender.

 

"Double whiskey on the rocks" says the man. He looks at the ostrich and

says, "What will you have?"

 

"I'll join him in a double whisky" says the ostrich. He looks at the

cat, "What will you have?"

 

"Half a pint of beer-but I'm not paying" says the cat.

 

"That will be £5.85" says the bartender.

 

So the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exactly £5.85.

 

The next day after work the man goes into the same bar.

 

"Excuse me" the bartender, says, "I was just wondering why, no matter

what the price, you always have the exact change in your pocket?"

 

"Well" says the man, "when my grandmother died she

left me everything in her house and inside there was a lamp. So I

rubbed it and out popped a genie. It granted me three wishes. So I

asked that every time I wanted to buy something I would have the exact

change in my pocket".

 

"That's brilliant" says the bartender. "You'll never ever run out of money. What else did you ask for?"

 

The man sighs and says, "A bird with long legs and a tight pussy!!"