Our system detected that your browser is blocking advertisements on our site. Please help support Fans Focus by disabling any kind of ad blocker while browsing this site. Thank you.
Jump to content

Three Paralympians (Quite offensive !)


Recommended Posts

The British Paralympic team return to the UK from South Africa on a plane. Unfortunately engine failure causes the plane to crash in the Sahara desert !


Out of the wreckage stumble and trundle only three survivors... a blind judo competitor, a deaf footballer and a paraplegic long-distance race athlete.


After a brief discussion in which the three guess that the plane had nearly traversed the whole breadth of the Sahara prior to the crash, they not unreasonably determine to make due North in the hope of rescue at the Mediterranean coast.


Keeping the sun to their right in the mornings and to their left in the evenings they slowly traverse mile after mile of barren and featureless desert.


No matter how careful they are with their meagre water supplies, they eventually run dry and with no succour in sight their immediate prospects are looking pretty grim.


Eventually, the three parched worthies are at the very limit of their endurance... whereupon the deaf guy, breaching the crown of the latest dune suddenly leaps into the air whooping (in sign language) and cavorting with unabashed joy !


"What is it ?" croaks and signs the blind fellow.

"I can see an oasis" he signs, "we're all saved" his fingers flew.


The paraplegic chap signs "How far away ?"


"Just past the next big dune" replied the deaf guy - and with suddenly renewed vigour, the three make for the shimmering visage of palm trees in the middle distance.


As they get ever closer, their burning, weary muscles seem to become ever more invigorated and just tens of metres from the glistening limpid pool, they break into a run, the blind fellow pushing the paraplegic's wheelchair whilst the deaf guy sprints on ahead.


Just before he reaches the edge of the oasis, the deaf guy trips on a hidden palm root and his momentum hurls him right into the middle of the cool refreshing water... he swallows the sweet liquid with abandoned relish and breaches the surface... to be amazed that he can suddenly hear the laboured breath of the blind guy pushing the wheelchair and the squeaking of the wheels themselves !



"My God" he bellows in perfect English "I can hear and I can speak normally !" as the other two come to a halt at the edge of the water "It's miraculous !".


The blind fellow and the paraplegic chap are momentarily stunned at their fellow's good fortune.


"Quick, quick, you two... get into the water... drink and see if you become cured too" he admonishes and the blind fellow, temporarily forgetting his wheeled charge dives straight into the deep, shady pool.


Under the surface for several seconds, drinking down his fill of the water, the blind fellow eventually resurfaces and his companions watch him very carefully as he rubs his eyes and blinks out the water... "Bloody Hell" he screams, "You're right... it is a miracle... I can now see !"


Without further ado, the paraplegic chap grasps his wheels and launches himself, wheelchair and all - deep into the restorative pool.


Like his friends, he too takes some moments at first to slake his ravening thirst and then with a little extra effort, he wheels himself back out of the water, his wheelchair dripping cool droplets of water onto the burning sand.


After carefully undoing several safety straps that had been securing his previously insensate lower limbs to the chair, he lifts himself upwards and forwards onto his legs... momentarily teetering as he stands up... and immediatly his legs buckle beneath him, still without function whatsoever and he lands face-first into the soft sand.


Spluttering and spitting, he turns furiously to his stunned companions and shouts "Bloody miracle... My @rse ! Look at my bleedin' legs - they still don't work !" and his outburst is followed by an embarrassed pregnant pause.



Suddenly, the blind fellow's eyes light up - as he glances back and forth between the paraplegic chap and his wheelchair.


"No... no, you're wrong mate... you have experienced a miracle..." he explains to the others.


"Look, see the wheelchair... it's got a brand new set of tyres !" [color:"red"] [/color]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Create New...