Forgive Me Father...

[Nitetime Neil]

...for I have sinned. I have not slept now for a day and one half, such is my guilt at a terrible lapse of judgement on my part. You see the good Reverend Joe O'Rexic kindly invited me to partake in a small tasting of sacred juice with him in the Blessed Halls of New Lodge at a truly late hour of Saturday (even by my unorthodox standards...) and well...I made a truly awful choice. Instead of opting for the much celebrated ang highly coveted "fermented apple juice" I quite inexplicably allowed his man servant to replenish my glass with "mango and passion fruit", knowing full well the high regard in which the good Father holds the chosen beverage of "Archers with Bulging Biceps". Twas only once I had consumed some three or four mouthfuls of said liquid that His disdain became fully apparent and I did fear that we may become involved in behaviour quite unbecoming of a man of the cloth and end up rowing...

Perhaps, it was the trauma of events I had witnessed on the blustery playing fields outside of the Halls earlier that afternoon that affected my choice or perchance my mind was somewhat muddled still by the visions of a large banana, giant car freshener and a satanic bat-like creature that had paraded before my eyes along with many other most un-godlike characters a brief while before hand. I can only offer my most humble apologies to the kind Reverend for my distressing lapse of judgement and will offer to provide Him with a full tankard of the sacred golden thirst quencher, should he care to pass through my chosen banquetting venue, close by the field of the green gooseberries, where I shall be in attendance as ever on the day one beyond the present date.

May God be with you...

[Brightside Bloke]

Classic,

I have it from upon high that we are both forgiven as we know not what we did.