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Liverpool's New Striker


Woody

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Gerard Houllier sends scouts out round the world looking for a new striker to replace the injured Michael Owen. One scout returns to inform him of a young Iraqi striker who he thinks will turn out to be a true superstar. Houllier flies to Iraq to watch him and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Anfield.

 

Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down at home to Man Utd with only 20 minutes left. Houllier gives the young Iraqi striker the nod to go on and he takes off Emile Heskey. The lad is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 minutes and wins the game.

 

The players, the fans and Houllier are delighted and the media love the new star. When he comes off the pitch, he phones his Mum to tell her about his first day in English football.

 

"Hi Mum, guess what?" he says, "I played for the last 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 goals and we won. Everybody loves me, the boss, the players, the fans and the media, they all love me".

 

"Great," says his Mum, "now let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters, while you were having a great time".

 

The young lad is very upset. "What can I say Mum, but I'm so sorry".

 

"Sorry! Sorry! You say sorry!" snaps his Mum, "It's your bloody fault that we moved to Liverpool in the first place!"

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