Medical Technology

[Moo]

One day, Fred and John are talking. Fred days to John, "My elbow hurts like hell. I think I'm going to go to the doctor."

"Listen, you don't have that kind of money", John replied. "There's a diagnosing computer at the mall. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It costs $10, and takes about 10 seconds. Better than a doctor, eh?"

Fred decided to try it, so he put a small urine sample in a jar, went down to the mall and found the machine. He put $10 in, the computer asked for the sample, so he poured it into the receptacle and waited.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout - 'You have tennis elbow, Soak it in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks'.

That afternoon, he was thinking about the machine and how good it was, and decided to put it to the test. When he got home, he mixed some tap waer, a stool sample from the family dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and his own sperm sample for good measure, and hurried back to the mall before it closed, eager to check the results.

He deposited $10, poured the concoction into the chute, wand waited. The computer spat out the following -

'1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener kit (Aisle 7)

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo (Aisle 3)

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Ger her into rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your tennis elbow will never get better.'