Lee Bowyer

[Emily]

Football World stunned at Bowyer punishment :

Switzerland 8th January 2003 :

UEFA today stunned the football world by handing out a severe penalty to England international Lee Bowyer after finding him guilty of stamping

on an opponent during an UEFA cup match. Bowyer has been banned from European competition for six games and made to sign for West Ham United. The combination of the six game ban and enforced transfer to West Ham means effectively Bowyer has been banned from European football for a minimum of FIFTEEN years.

Bowyer himself is said to be philosophical after finally been caught on CCTV stamping on a grounded opponent but does admit he is at least partly to blame as he should have phoned a team mate to come and pick him up and destroyed his boots and socks like he normally does when he finds himself in these situations ....

Bowyer's contract entitles him to a £1m bonus payment should West Ham escape relegation, the contract is also believed to include payments should he find Lord Lucan (£750k), prove the existence of extra-terrestrial life (£500k) or explain why the f##k they paid several million pound for

Titi Camera (£250k).

Meanwhile official West Ham sources would make no comment on rumours that West Ham are to change their away strip to a white sheet with a white hood to make Bowyer feel more at home.