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The evils of Drink !!!!!

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offline Rodders

  • First XI - Weekly Contract
  • Posts: 527
  • Joined: 11 Mar 2002
while recently reminising about my younger days, I started to think about some of the stories of what I got up to when totally smashed out of my head.....well in truth wondering what I had got up to as I could not remember much the next morning!

Anyway I thought I would share one or two on the pub forum (obviously) and see if anyone else would like to share some of theirs.........

one night after a skin full I walked home from the pub, I think the cold air made me feel worse and after a considerable effort I eventually managed to get the front door open. I staggered in to the front room to say hello to my housemate, I think the warmth in the house caught up with me and I promptly collapsed face first into his pot plant!
..... My housemate had to remove me from the plant and drag me to my room where he dumped me unconcious on my bed.
I awoke the next morning with a stonking hangover and soil all over my face, I did not have a clue why until my housemate told me what had happened.
I survived, the pot plant sadly did not!!

on another occassion again after a long and hard evening s session at the local, I remember going to the kebab house but then blank.........I awoke in a strange house to the strong smell of onions and I thought for one horrible moment I had lost the sight in one eye but it turns out I just had the remains of my kebab and its wrapper stuck to my face (onions, salad, sauce and all!!)
Not very nice particulary wit ha stonking hangover

It then dawned on me that there were a number of people all crashed out in this strange house none of which I recognised, I started to panic, where the hell was I? how far from home? and how did I get here? fortunately I came across a friend of mine who told me we had met some people on the way home from the pub and gone to a party at one their houses, and it was not too far from home.

there are too many stories like that to mention
so to younger viewers .......stay off the drink!! <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

anyone got any similar stories ??

offline CANV EFM

  • National Squad - 1st XI
  • Posts: 7,635
  • Joined: 9 Sep 2001
ive done more.. and i've done worse...

offline Colin Zeal EFM

Colin Zeal EFM
  • Youth Team Coach
  • Posts: 9,613
  • Joined: 5 Feb 2002
Hmmm. Me too.

offline The Invisible Man

The Invisible Man
  • National Squad - 1st XI
  • Posts: 5,862
  • Joined: 17 Oct 2001
A few years ago after drinkng in the Wapping area I felt the need to ceremonially drink some Thames water, as a sort of homage to the greatest river in the world (as one does). I couldn't work out while I felt so ill the next morning until someone reminded me.

Many years ago a mate of mine, who was a milkman at the time, after a night on the p with moi, got pulled for drink/driving on his round early the next morning, still being legally under the influence. The most embarrassing bit was when he had to present his documents at Edmonton nick, and had to explain to the desk plods (who found it highly amusing) that he was up for being drunk in charge of a milk float.

Another mate elected to answer an urgent call of nature down a side alley. Too late we realised it was actually the vehicular entrance to Tottenham nick. Temporary incarceration ensued, followed by a charge of indecent exposure.

Weirdest of all was an aquaintance who fell asleep in Metropolis.

offline Dave Hedgehog

Dave Hedgehog
  • First XI - Sub's Bench
  • Posts: 206
  • Joined: 2 Feb 2002
A warning - don't mix drink and trains! Heres what REALLY happened to a couple of mates of mine.......

1: After a session at Hamilton Hall, Liverpool Street, one of my mates was already seriously the worse for wear, so we put him on a fast train to his home station of Shenfield. Next day, he recalled waking up on the train, peering out of the window and not recognising the station that the train had stopped at. In a panic, he leapt from the train, which proceeded to depart without him. Walking out of the station, he found himself in a quitet country village. The only establishment that showed any signs of life was a Chinese takeaway, so he staggered. He clearly recalled enquiring of the confused man behind the counter "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?". It turned out that my mate was in White Notley, somewhere near Braintree. It cost him £40 in cab fare to get home to Shenfield BUT.....when he accounted for the time that he got home, it seemed that he had slept on the train all of the way to Braintree, where the train had terminated and that, when he had got off at White Notley, the train was almost certainly on its way back to Liverpool Street. Had he stayed on, it would have stopped at Shenfield, saving him forty quid!!!

2: Another unfortunate pal of mine was making his way home to Colchester by train, following an all-day session after one of our colleagues had left their job. He settled down on the express, only to wake up at Stowmarket. Realising thathe had gone past his stop, he got off and looked around fror a phone so that he could tell his wife that he would be late. The only place he could think of where there might be a payphone was.....in the pub across the road. Whilst in there, he noticed that the football was on TV, so he did what we would all do, had another pint and watched the end of the game. At closing time, he made his way back to the station and managed to get himself back to Colchester. On arriving home, he thought it best not to disturb his wife, so he locked up and slept in the spare room. He was awakened at 7am the next morning by a loud banging on the front door. It was his wife. She'd been out with her friends the previous night and had arrived home to find herself locked out.........!

offline The Invisible Man

The Invisible Man
  • National Squad - 1st XI
  • Posts: 5,862
  • Joined: 17 Oct 2001
I did a very similar thing many years ago, when about to wed the Invisible Woman. We had to go the church that evening for the sort of rehearsal wedding, but I had the afternoon off for some reason and inevitably imbibed in the West End, where I worked. I travelled homewards in the early evening on the Victoria Line, intending to alight at Seven Sisters for bus or train to Edmonton. Of course I fell asleep to wake up staring at a station sign saying Blackhorse Road. Damn, missed my stop, I thought, but no matter, there's a train in on the other platform. So I scampered acroos and got in the train on the other side, and of course it tok me on to Walthamstow where I had aready been.

Remarkably the wedding still took place, resulting in three invisible children.

offline Tom S

Tom S
  • Reserves Coach
  • Posts: 1,922
  • Joined: 3 Dec 2001
Ah, White Notley.

After our Cherry Red trophy game there last season the legendary Cyclops managed to miss four successive trains (it's an hourly service) while imbibing in the local hostelry (The Cross Keys, if memory serves.)

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