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Matthew Kelly.

Mersea Pete

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Matthew Kelly decides to have a night in to escape all the

press intrusion. So him and his wife nip out to get a take

away, a bottle of wine and a video to watch.

While he is looking around the wine section of his local

Safeway, his wife is browsing around the video aisle.

Suddenly she see's a video that catches her eye, " Hey

Matthew," she calls. " Shall I get ALADDIN ?"

Matthew snaps back," Don't you think I'm in enough trouble

as it is now."....

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Matthew Kelly leaves for work and gives his male partner a peak on the cheek.


On his return home he is shocked to find his partner standing in tha hall way with a suitcase.


"whats all this about" asks matthew

"I am leaving you because I heard on the news that you are a peadophile" said his partner


Matthew leaned forward and said "thats a mighty big word for an eleven year old!"



agologies very sick!!




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