Out of the Mouths of Babes............

[Big J R]

Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom about 2 a.m., I found my two children in bed with my wife, apparently scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleep in the guest bedroom that night. The next day, I talked to the children and explained that it was O.K. to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but when I was expected home, please don't sleep with Mom that night. They said ok.

After my next trip several weeks later, my wife and the children picked me up in the terminal at the appointed time. Since the plane was late, everyone had come into the terminal to wait for my plane's arrival,along with hundreds of other folks waiting for their arriving passengers. As I entered the waiting area, my son saw me, and came running shouting,"Hi, Dad! I've got some good news!" As I waved back, I said loudly, "What's the good

news?"

"Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time!" he shouted. The airport became very quiet, as everyone in the waiting area looked at him, then turned to me, and then searched the rest of the area to see if they could figure out exactly who his Mom was. *

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An friend of mine who is a doctor told this story about her then 4-year-old daughter. On the way to pre-school, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. "Be still, my heart," thought my friend. "My daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!" Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order please !"

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A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong; she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."

 

When the Vicar at Sunday School asked her, "Aren't you Mr.Sugarbrown's daughter?" she replied. "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."

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A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" "No," her mother replied, "they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him ?"

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A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

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At the beginning of a children's sermon, one girl came up to the altar wearing a beautiful dress. As the children were sitting down around the pastor, he leaned over and said to the girl, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?"

 

The girl replied almost directly into the pastor's clip-on mike "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bugger to iron."

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A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake.

 

The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie."

 

"Yes, I know," she replies, "and I'm gonna get boobs too !!"