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offline R Zimmerman

R Zimmerman
  • Spectator
  • Posts: 323
  • Joined: 19 Dec 2001
A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing
with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the
train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want
off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all
of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the
train, cause we're going down the tracks."<p>The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that
kind of language in this house!! Now I want you to go to your
room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out,
you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice
language."<p>Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed
playing with his train.<p>Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All
passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to
take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding
with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you
will ride with us again soon."<p>She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just
boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your
seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you
will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."<p>As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you
who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch
in the kitchen."

offline CANV EFM

  • National Squad - 1st XI
  • Posts: 7,635
  • Joined: 9 Sep 2001
A depressed young woman was so desperate that she
> > >decided to end her life by throwing herself into
> > >the sea.
> > >
> > >When she went down the docks, a handsome young
> > >sailor noticed her tears and took pity on her.
> > >
> > >"Look, you've got a lot to live for, " he said.
> > >"I'm off to America in the morning, and if you
> > >like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take
> > >good care of you and bring you food every day."
> > >Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her
> > >shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and
> > >you'll keep me happy."
> > >
> > >The girl nodded. After all, what did she have to
> > >lose? That night, the sailor brought her aboard
> > >and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every
> > >night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece
> > >of fruit and they made passionate love until
> > >dawn.
> > >
> > >Three weeks later during a routine search, the
> > >captain discovered her.
> > >
> > >"What are you doing here?" the captain asked.
> > >
> > >"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors",
> > >she explained. "He's taking me to America, and
> > >he's feeding me."
> > >
> > >"What are you doing for him?" said the captain.
> > >
> > >"He's shafting me" said the girl.
> > >
> > >"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is
> > >the Isle of Wight ferry"

offline matthew oliver

matthew oliver
  • Spectator
  • Posts: 385
  • Joined: 24 Mar 2002
there was a young man from china,
and he wasnt a very good climber.
he slipped on a rock, and cut off his [****!!****],
and now he has got a ******!!

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