ok, I was wrong, it's got a tad more serious:
Riots over mosque on the Queen's doorstep
By David Pilditch
THE QUEEN’s home town was gripped by fear last night as war erupted between rival gangs of race-hate thugs.
Extra officers were called in and riot police placed on stand-by as mobs of Muslim and white youths prepared for a fourth consecutive night of violence in the royal town of Windsor in Berkshire.
The Queen usually spends weekends at Windsor Castle and no decision has yet been made over whether she will change her plans. In unprecedented scenes of mayhem and disorder in the historic town, armed gangs of more than 100 youths have fought running battles in the streets.
A Muslim-run dairy which wants to build a mosque has been petrol-bombed and vehicles have been vandalised.
The outbreak of disorder began after a mother and her daughter were set upon by a gang of 20 Asian youths armed with baseball bats, iron bars and pitchforks.
The shaven-headed thugs – all dressed in white robes – launched the attack after pouring out of a former office building which is being used as an unofficial mosque.
They attacked Karen Hayes, 46, and her 18-year-old daughter Emily before turning their weapons on the teenager’s car. The pair had gone to help after Karen’s 15-year-old son Sean and a friend were beaten up by the gang. Police have said it is unlikely the mob will be brought to justice.
As dusk fell last night, gangs of hooded white youths began to gather outside the dairy entrance.
With scarves wrapped around their mouths to hide their identity, the teenage boys insisted they were the victims of the unrest.
One 17-year-old youth said: "The Asians have got no respect for us. What they normally do is start on the kids." Meanwhile, scores of Asian youths marched through the streets chanting "We are getting our mosque".
Three police riot vans swooped on the 40-strong mob of white youths. As a stand-off developed between the teenagers and Muslim workers at the gates of the Medina dairy, around 30 officers moved in.
Police stopped and searched gang members, making them remove the scarves covering their faces and asked them to disperse, which the majority of them did.
Dairy manager Sikander Khan said it felt a little like being under siege. "We have all these lorries to load up and we feel intimidated with them here."
Locals said tensions had been growing between residents and staff at the dairy for months. Three arrests have been made since this week’s violence began.
Problems started after Sardar Hussain, who bought the dairy in 2002, applied for planning permission to turn a nearby office building into a mosque and Islamic education centre.
Official permission has not been given but workers have been using the building for prayers. And locals insist it is already attracting a hard-core element of fundamentalists.
People opposing the conversion claim there are not enough Muslims in Windsor to warrant a mosque. There are said to be around 500 Muslims in a town with a population of more than 30,000.
Staff at the dairy say they have faced verbal abuse, their cars have been damaged and stones, bricks and bottles have been thrown at the buildings. Mr Hussain, who came to Britain from Pakistan in 1973, insisted the attacks which provoked the disorder were not connected to his plan for a mosque.
He said: "I am disappointed this is happening. This is the Queen’s town. I like to see this town in peace and quiet. I like to see everybody get on with their lives.
"We are providing a service to the community. I feel safe because I am in the hands of God but I feel sad this has happened in the Queen’s town."
Chief Superintendent Brian Langston, of Thames Valley Police, said: "The type of behaviour shown over the past few evenings will not be tolerated by police.
"We will not allow any section of the community to be intimidated by mindless violence. All reported incidents are being investigated as serious criminal activity.
"Three arrests have already been made and we will continue to use robust policing tactics to deal with anyone threatening public safety."
Last week it was revealed that the Queen had allowed a Muslim prayer room to be set up at Windsor Castle. Nagina Chaudhry, a student who works part-time in the castle’s gift shop, won approval from Her Majesty to pray during Ramadan within the castle walls.
Last night Nagina, 19, begged rival gangs to stop the violence. She said: "I believe that if the Queen is willing to accept other cultures and religions, then surely Windsor as a town should be equally gracious.
"I hope the problem is resolved quickly and peacefully but I believe the mosque should be built as there is no proper place for Muslims in the town to pray." Local councillor Cynthia Endacott said: "I do not think the police have taken a pro-active response to the complaints from residents over the years.
"They have been warned that something might happen. I would urge everyone in the community to stay calm."
Council leader Mary-Rose Gliksten said: "We have got a long and proud history of our community relations in Windsor and we regret incidents that have happened this week. We will be doing everything to calm the situation." The Rev Louise Brown, who chaired a chaotic public meeting over the dairy’s planned mosque in 2004, said there were deep-rooted problems which led to the violence.
"This is a matter that has been bubbling up. There are issues with the dairy that have never been resolved."
Ms Brown, who is vicar of nearby All Saints Church, added: "There is a lot of history and sadly where there is a lot of history, there are problems." Since the Medina dairy moved to the site – formerly owned by Express Dairies – it has developed into a 24 hours a day, seven days a week operation.
Bitter neighbours say they have had to suffer sleepless nights caused by articulated lorries delivering around the clock.
Asian youths are travelling to Windsor from neighbouring towns and there are rumours that people as far away as Birmingham are planning riots. A petrol bomb made out of a beer bottle was found at the roadside in one of the flashpoint streets. One mother, who wished to be known only as Carol, said: "I have a 17-year-old boy and an eight-year-old girl and I’m putting a curfew on them because I’m petrified of what might happen.
"I have not slept for two nights. The whole community is frightened and these two groups continue to wind each other up. I fear it has gone too far to bring back. Somebody is going to get killed."
There have been reports from across Britain of attacks on Muslims during the holy month of Ramadan.
On the Isle of Wight an investigation was under way last night after a Muslim prisoner at Parkhurst claimed a warder had defaced his copy of the Koran.
Massoud Shadjareh, of the Islamic Human Rights Commission said: "Rude words were written across the page."
And last week a pig’s head was thrown at a mosque during night prayers in Newsport, Gwent.