Big J R Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 I got sacked last night from the Salvation Army soup kitchen, ungrateful sods. All I said was, 'Hurry up for christ's sake, some of us have got homes to go to! ? Christmas is like any other day for me, sitting at the table with a big fat bird who doesn't gobble any more. Women should be like golf caddies, either holding your balls or getting your tee ready ! Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching tv when I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen, 'What you like for dinner my love, chicken, beef or lamb ?' I said, 'Thank you, I'll have chicken'. She replied, 'You're having soup you fat b@stard, I was talking to the cat!' Not every flower can say love, but a rose can. Not every flower can survive thirst, but a cactus can. Not every vegetable can read, but bless you for having a go ! Got myself a new Jack Russell puppy, he's mainly black and brown with a small white patch, so I've called him Birmingham. In an Indian restaurant last night having a meal, waiter came over and says, 'Curry ok ?' I said, 'Go on then, just one song then bugger off.' I was sat in a restaurant and got hit on the back of the head by a prawn cocktail. I looked round and this bloke shouts, 'That's just for starters! ' Firemen have just rescued an Irish man with his penis stuck in a condom machine. They asked him what happened and he said, 'The sign says, insert £2 and push knob in'. Yoko Ono has been signed up for the next series of 'I'm a celebrity, get me out of here'. Show Biz sources think she'll do really well since she's been living off a dead Beatle for the last thirty years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.