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is this the worst joke?


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Julius Caesar was addressing the crowd in the Colosseum.


"Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears. Tomorrow I take our


glorious army to conquer Northern Europe and I shall start with France. We


shall kill many Gauls and return victorious." The crowd are up on their




"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, hail mighty Caesar".


In the background, Brutus turns to his mate and says: "Caesar doesn't half


talk some [****!!****] eh? He couldn't fight his way out of a wet parchment bag."


Six months later, Caesar comes back having conquered France and addresses


the crowd in the Coliseum: "Friends, Romans and Countrymen, I have returned


from our campaign in France and as I promised, we killed 50,000 Gauls". The


crowd is up on their feet again.


"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, hail mighty Caesar".


Brutus once again turns to his mate: "I'm sick of his [***!!***]. I'm off to


France to check this out." So Brutus sets off for France. Three weeks later


he comes back to Rome, just as Caesar is addressing the public in the


Coliseum again. Caesar is giving his usual patter to the assembled throng:


"Friends, Romans Countrymen, tomorrow we set off for Britain and we are


going to sort those b*stards out!" The crowd is up on their feet.


"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, hail mighty Caesar"


Brutus jumps up and shouts, "Caesar, you are exposed as a liar. You told us


that you had killed 50,000 Gauls in France but I've been there to check it


out and you only killed 25,000!"


The crowd is stunned and all sit down in silence. Caesar gets up and looks


slowly round the Coliseum then across at Brutus and says...


"Brutus, you are forgetting one thing... Away Gauls count double in Europe."



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