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The BBC have reported that a certain Jo Stalin of Braintree, Essex is under investigation for the violent use of frozen sausages. A police spokesman has confirmed that this may be an alias and are keeping a vigilant watch on the subject's premises in Cressing Road.


Earlier this week a man was battered by a frozen sausage whilst out driving round South Woodham Ferrers. The police believe that the man, Jo Stalin and his accomplice Mr. Lenin have information concerning the disapearance of the Braintree Sausages, linking them with the Braintree Drive By Sausager.


Superintendent Mash said "I know the police resources are stretched but we have to keep the pressure up on this before we make a total meal of it and it becomes a hash!!!"

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And here's the proof !

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