Bar jokes

[AussieACE]

So a dyslexic walks into a bra . . .

 

 

This grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey! We have a drink named after you!"

The grasshopper replies, "Really? You have a drink named Steve?!"

 

 

A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre... so the barman gave her one!

[fanoftheblues]

Long one,

 

Man walks into a bar and says

"drinks are on me"

everyone cheers and piles to the bar, a few minutes pass, the man pipes up again

"my round again everybody"

Again everyone piles to the bar. This goes on all night and the barman joins in with the free drinks and decides to have a lock in. Everyone gets hammered including the barman. Eventually the barman stumbles up to the man and slurs

"here'z pal you'z made it a great night but you owe'z me £500",

"sorry mate I haven't got any money".

the man replies. The barman is furious and lays into the man kicking and punching and eventually throwing him out the back door. A few days later the man returns, and goes up to the bar and says to the barman

"A drink for everyone here, except you mate, you get a bit lairy when you're pis*ed!

[and1inthetree]

an englishman, irishman, scotsman, nun, priest, rabbi, elephant, horse and mouse walk into a bar.

 

barman says hang on, is this some sort of joke?

[Rob_Butler]

lol