Some Useful Tips !!

[Big J R]

A Few Tips

 

Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment always circle the stain in permanent pen so that when you remove the garment from the washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and check that it has gone.

 

High blood pressure sufferers. Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

 

Olympic athletes. Conceal the fact that you have taken performance enhancing drugs by simply running a little slower and letting someone else win.

 

Heavy smokers. Don't throw away those filters from the end of your cigarettes. Save them up and within a few years you'll have enough to insulate your loft.

 

Create instant designer stubble by sucking a magnet and dipping your chin in a bowl of iron filings.

 

A sheet of sandpaper makes a cheap and effective substitute for costly maps when visiting the Sahara desert.

 

Toblerone chocolate bars make ideal 'toast racks' for Ritz crackers.

 

Only go to the toilet at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it.

 

Feed bees oranges. Hey presto! They make marmalade instead of honey.

 

A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.

 

Tape a chocolate bar to the outside of your microwave. If the chocolate melts you will know that the microwaves are escaping and it is time to have it serviced.

 

An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.

 

Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

 

Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner.

 

[Wilf]

JR - do you write for VIZ????

[TACKLE1000]

No, but i suggest he may well "borrow a bit!"