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God appears to a man and says he'll have to quit fags, drink and sex if he wants to go to heaven.

A week later God re-appears and asks him how its going.

The man says, the fags and drink were easy to give up but when my wife bent over to take meat out of the freezer I just couldn't resist - I had to give her one there and then.

God says they dont like that sort of think in heaven.

The man replied that they didnt like it in Tescos either


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