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Glad to help, Ryan:<p>"EFM" stands for "England's First Martyr" (St Alban was Britain's First Christian Martyr - stoned to death on Verulamamium Hill for sheltering a catholic priest during an anti-catholic purge or somesuch). It was a name that jokingly came about after references were made to some younger City supporters being a hooligan firm (most likely point of reference - The ICF (notorious West Ham firm of the 80s). <p>To me, and so far as I'm aware to most others, it was all a big joke (the whole concept of a Ryman League club having a "firm"). There have been incidents this season, just as there have been in the previous seasons, and it has to be said that "the firm"'s behaviour has been far from perfect on a few occasions this season. By reading the other posts on this site, you'll garner some idea of what's happened - a mixture of too much drink, over-reaction by other clubs' officials and so on (I'm not trying to offer any opinion here - I really can't be bothered any more). <p>Following recent incidents, the City chairman gave his opinion on matters, which are currently being debated amongst the locals. My opinions on this can be found elsewhere on this messageboard. If you wade through all of the posts on here, you'll probably come to the conclusion that they're either psychopathic nutters or harmless retards who can't hold their drink. I'd lean towards the latter, but once or twice the behaviour has gone beyond the pale.<p>EFM has it's own football club which has managed a whole season in the local Sunday League with only one win. I am it's chairman. I like to think of myself much as Douglas Adams described planet earth in "Hitch-hiker's Guide To The Galaxy": mostly harmless. Should you wish for more information on EFM FC, go to www.intheteam.com/efm. If the link doesn't work, go to their homepage and search.<p>With a bit of luck, all of this will have blown over by the end of the season. If you need any more information, don't hesitate to ask.

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Trev. You forgot to mention the infamous pre-season of 2001.<p>At a time of economic discontent around the world, one team stood tall in the face of adversity, corruption, and other long words.<p>John Kendall was brought in as joint-manager, along side Paul Jones, and 4 'friendlies' were played. These have been described as EFM's finest hours ever.<p>Aylesbury Supporters were first up. An inexperienced team lined up in very poor conditions, and soon found themselves 2-0 down. But for some stout defending (from Messrs. Kendall (D.), Fenton (T.), Wood (L.) and Lewis (GHA) and fine goalkeeping from George (T.) in goal, the score could have been a lot higher. But EFM settled down, and scored 4 goals in quick succesion. Final score; EFM 4-2 Aylesbury Supporters. Later that day SACFC beat Aylesbury 2-0, prompting rapturous and voiciforous singing of

Tell your ma, your ma,

To put the champagne on ice

Coz we beat the Aylesbury twice

Que serah, serah<p>EFM faced their biggest match ever down at Clarence Park, against the Saints Supporters (only about 3 actually are supporters, but who's counting?). Under floodlights, EFM started as underdogs, and found themselves going in at half time 1-0 down. However, some tatically mastermindinistryation was shown during the half time teamtalk, and EFM came out for the second half all guns blazing. They suffered a setback, however, as a Saints Supporter scored. EFM got back into their stride immediately, however, and Dave (I play for the Crown, you know) Ashley scored a superb individual goal. EFM were caught on the counter attack soon after, however, and found themselves 3-1 down. Some dubious refereeing decisions, a disallowed offside goal that was later proved by TV cameras to have been onside was ruled out, and EFM finally lost 3-1. EFM's goalkeeper, Lewis (GHA), was awarded the MOTM.<p>Facing Homebase on a pitch straight out of the film Cliffhanger, EFM found themselves with an uphill task straight away. No markings on the pitch, the wind against them, and an incline Michael Schumacher would stall on meant that despite playing well, EFM found themselves 4-0 down at half time. An inspired team talk (come on lads, their cr@p) soon got EFM going, and for the second match in a row EFM came out all guns blazing. 6 goals, including a scorcher from Paul (Jesus) Jones, a free kick and another strike from James (Brew) Brewer, and 2 headed goals from Ben (Ben) Griffiths, along with another goal, saw EFM take a two goal lead, at 6-4. Homebase rallied, and managed to score two fortunate goals, one from a goalmouth scramble after keeper Lewis (GHA) had initially saved the one-on-one, and a header from a long throw. However, EFM's skill and confidence oozed through, and Ben Griffiths scored a header late on to seal the game in EFM's favour, 7-6.<p>The last of the pre-season friendlies took place against Enfield. Possibly Enfield Town. EFM won 8-2. That was it.<p>

Jesus has match reports somewhere, doesn't he?<p>SIGN ME UP!!! BAN ME!!!

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For such a short question I think I got the worlds two longest answers. Thanks for the explanation anyway. As for the can-throwing, it seems like an act of passion. I bet this person in question is an avid Saints fan and not one of your 'big game hunters' turning up for a ruck. God almighty, he must be quite avid to visit Hendon on a thursday night. Any club with a decent following will experiance 'incidents'. The world would a more boring place with-out 'em. Didn't think Saints fans had it in 'em though. Always seemed a harmless bunch. Still, you live and learn

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Match Report 1<p>

Once again we had a slow start (we have yet to score a first half goal in

each of the three games we've played so far!), and we found ourselves a goal

down after about five minutes.<p>Homebase doubled their lead after about ten minutes when Tom failed to clear

Carl's backpass, a mistake that Tom more than made up for later, with a

string of quality close range saves.<p>Midway through the first half we started to create a few opportunities.

Costello's long-range effort flew just over the bar, and a couple of minutes

later, their 'keeper somehow managed to prevent Steve Gillies bundling the

ball over the line.<p>However, with about ten minutes of the first half remaining, Homebase got a

third, and we went into the break with a 0-3 deficit.<p>Into the second half, and we conceded our customary early goal, and with the

scoreline at 4-0, Homebase could be forgiven for thinking that they had the

game won. They should know better!!<p>Ten minutes into the second half I pulled one back on the half-volley to

make it 1-4 (full details to come in the pub on Wednesday - prepare to be

talked through the goal on more than one occasion!!), and a couple of

minutes later James Brewer chipped the keeper for 2-4.<p>With twenty minutes remaining, we won a free kick from just outside the box,

and James curled it beautifully into the top left-hand corner of the goal

for his second, to reduce the gap to just one goal.<p>Our inevitable equaliser came about six minutes later, when Ben scored the

first of a great headed hat-trick, and shortly after that, Ben got his

second, to give us a 5-4 lead.<p>Keeping up his record of a goal per game, Dave scored another fine solo goal

putting us 6-4 ahead with eight minutes to play.<p>However, we disappointing conceded two goals in the final three minutes, and

Homebase looked as though they may snatch a draw.<p>But with just ten seconds left on the clock, Ben rose up and headed home to

score our seventh, and complete his hat-trick. Final score 7-6 to E.F.M.<p>A word must be said about the referee who was absolutely dire. I don't think

we got a decision our way all game, James and I were both threatened with

yellow cards for ridiculoulsly tame offences, and he threatened to send

Anthony off for dissent!!<p>Richard Barker and John Wilkins made their EFM debuts, whilst James, Ben and

I scored our first goals in EFM colours.<p>Team: Lewis, Fadhel, Barker, Wood, Wilkins (Ashley), Ratcliffe, Gillies,

Costello, Brewer, Griffiths, Jones

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Match Report 2<p>For the benefit of those who couldn't make it, we played Enfield Supporters

yesterday at Verulamium in the blistering heat in what turned out to be a

10-a-side match. The opposition only turned up with 10 players, and we were

quickly reduced to ten after Pete limped off after just a minute with a very

painful sounding dislocated knee-cap.<p>We were 4-1 up at half time with Dave and James getting two goals each. My

memory fails me for the majority of our goals yesterday, but our fourth,

just before half-time was a free-kick from about eight yards after the

keeper picked up a back-pass, and James fired the free-kick home, past their

nine-man wall on the goal-line!!<p>Dave and James both completed their hat-tricks during the second half, and

Dave went on to score five, the pick of the bunch being goal number eight,

when he ran half the length of the pitch before slotting past their keeper.<p>Mark, making his EFM debut, was also unlucky midway through the second half

when his 25-yard effort rattled the underside of the crossbar and came out

again. (Had Vicki, our linesman, been Russian, there may have been a

different outcome!)<p>Rather amusingly, I got the feeling after the game that Enfield felt they

ought to have won, which is I'm sure, how most people feel when they lose by

six goals!!<p>Team: Lewis, Fenton, George, Wilkins, Fadhel, Ratcliffe, Lawrence, Farrar,

Brewer, Ashley, Jones

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