Ladies or Real Women?

[Burnham Lad]

Ladies - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."

 

Real Woman - If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

 

*****************************************************************

 

Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

 

Real Woman - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?

 

***************************************************************

 

Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

 

Real Woman - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.

 

*******************************************************************

 

Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

 

Real Woman - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

 

*******************************************************************

 

Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the inside of the cake.

 

Real Woman - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate it for you.

 

*******************************************************************

 

Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

 

Real Woman - Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just don't do it.

 

*******************************************************************

 

Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

 

Real Woman - Go ask the very cute neighbour guy to do it.

 

*******************************************************************

 

And finally the most important tip.... Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

 

Real Woman - Leftover wine??

 

****************************************************************

 

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"