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100 not out


AussieACE

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This bloke decides that he wants a pet, but not just any pet, a really unusual pet.

 

He walks into the pet store and goes up to the sales assistant. "Excuse me, I want a pet, but not just any pet, a really unusual pet."

 

The sales assistant says, "I have just the thing for you, it's a talking centipede".

 

"Cool!", the bloke exclaims, "I'll take it!"

 

He takes the centipede home in a little box and places him on the kitchen table. He looks into the box and says, "Hey centipede, what about you and me going to the pub for a beer?"

 

The centipede doesn't answer, so the bloke decides he'll come back in five minutes and ask again.

 

Five minutes pass and the bloke returns to the centipede, "Hey centipede, how about you and me go to the pub for a beer?"

 

Again, the centipede doesn't answer him. The bloke thinks maybe he's a bit unsettled and decides to go and watch TV for half an hour.

 

The bloke returns in half an hour and decides to ask one more time. "Hey centipede, how about you and me go to the pub for a beer?"

 

The centipede looks up at the man and says, "For f#ck's sake man, I heard you the first time.... I'm putting on my shoes!"

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