funny

[Richard C]

>>HSBC Bank is installing new 'drive-through' cash-point

> > machines. Customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their

> > > > > >>vehicles.

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>To enable users to use this new facility the following

> procedures

> > > > > >>have been drawn up.

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Please read the procedure that applies to your own

> > circumstances

> > > > > >>(i.e. Male or Female), and remember them when you use the

> > machine for the first time.

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>MALE PROCEDURE:

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Drive up to the cash machine

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Wind down your car window

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Insert card into machine and enter your PIN

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Enter amount of cash required and withdraw

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Retrieve card, cash and receipt

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Wind up window

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Drive off

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>FEMALE PROCEDURE:

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Drive up to cash machine

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Reverse back the required amount to align car window to

> > machine

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Re-start the stalled engine

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Wind down the window

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to

> > locate card

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Turn the radio down

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Attempt to insert card into machine

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its

> > > > > >>excessive distance from the car

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Insert card

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Re-insert card the right way up

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the

> > inside of back page

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Enter PIN

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Enter amount of cash required

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Check make up in rear view mirror

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Retrieve cash and receipt

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Place receipt in back of cheque book

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Re-check make-up again

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Drive forwards 2 meters

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Reverse back to cash machine

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Retrieve card

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the

> > slot provided

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Give appropriate hand signal to irate drivers queuing behind

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Restart stalled engine and pull off

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>Drive for 2 miles

>

> > > > > >>Release handbrake.