Definitions and Statements !

[Big J R]

SOCIAL SECURITY SEX Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"

 

LOUD SEX A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell." "My dear," the shrink said, "That's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is." - "The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"

 

QUIET SEX Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?" She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"

 

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'."

 

"Yeah," she replies, "when you die, I'm getting you a headstone reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"

 

WOMEN'S HUMOR A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman says..... "I'll miss you."