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Dry Your Eyes Jeff, A Streets tribute to Canvey

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#1
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Just thought you might like to see what a talented individual has penned about Jeff, Canvey and your demise

Dry your Eyes Jeff, A Streets tribute to Canvey

#2
offline ken

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i have cut and paste it in, we dont want the shrimpers web site to think it has fans

To the tune of The Streets' 'Dry Your Eyes'.

(Big Orchestral opening)

With one single injury your whole season can turn around,
Another poor result and loads of booing from the crowd,
Looking round Park Lane sadly, looking round the ground,
World feels like it's caving in, this Kingy is a clown,
The chairman keeps banging on about when we'll spend some cash,
But our only new arrival may be Fat Jeff's re-grown 'tache,

Dry your eyes Jeff,
I know it's hard to take but Canvey are not staying up,
There's plenty more teams in the league,
Dry your eyes Jeff,
I know you hate watching us Shrimpers laugh until it hurts,
But you've got to walk away now,
It's over,

So then we move our hands up from down by our sides,
It's cracking, their whole season is just crashing before their eyes,
Hurting our palms applauding Jeff King's many lies,
Look at the wobbling of his chins, two too many pies,
Cause I can't imagine why they said they'd be signing Fredy,
Then he did turn up, but with Southend and scored a goal or 3

---Chorus---

And the back four's just standing there, they can't stop them,
Conference has just gone,
They've got nothing,
Absolutely nothing.

Signing has been centre halves out of bare desperation,
Masking tape round Jeff's gob trying to stop what he's saying,
I'm not gonna f**king just f**king leave it now,
Cause they said top four or bust and that was their vow,
And now the Marsh Rats flounder, sh*tting it about going down,
Best thing we've seen for years, it's well out of town,

--Chorus--

I know in the past they say they've had big gates,
Telling things but not telling straight,
But the more wages they seem to pay,
The more they fall away,

--Chorus--

funny song,

oh well I suppose they have to make the most of it, how often do they get to take the p*ss whilst doing well at the same time as we are doing bad.

Im sure normal service will be resumed soon

#3
offline Matt H

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Is this from the chap who sits busking under the railway bridge with his guitar? LOL

#4
offline CIFCislander

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let them have there Laugh, it wont last long when we get all our players back to full fitness and start winning again

#5
offline ken

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Im impressed that a southend fan could come up with something that required a moderate level of intelligence,

for that alone they should be praised

#6
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Two can play at that game.

Don't Cry for Me, Ronnie Martin
Lyrics and music by Steve Wignall

This won't be easy,
you'll think it's strange.
When I try to explain how I feel -
that I still need your money
after all that I've done.

You won't believe me.
All you will see is a manager you once knew,
although he's dressed up to the nines -
for sixes and sevens with you.

I had to let it happen.
I had to change.
Couldn't stay all my life down at Roots Hall.
Losing all of the time,
staying out of the sun.
So I choose freedom.
Running around, trying everything new.
But nothing impressed you at all.
I never expected it too.

Don't cry for me, Ronnie Martin.
The truth is I never left you.
All through my wild days
My mad existence
I kept my promise, don't keep my money.

And as for fortune,
and as for fame,
I never invited them in -
though it appeared, to the world,
they were all I desired.
They are illusions,
they're not the solutions they promised to be.
The answer was here all the time.
I’ll sue you, and hope you pay me.

Don't cry for me, Southend United.
The truth is I never left you.
All through my wild days
My sad existence
I kept my promise, don't keep my money.

Have I said too much?
There's nothing more I can think of to say to you.
But all you have to do,
is look at me to know,
that every word is true.

#7
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They wouldn't do this in past seasons, would they? Just because they're having their moment of glory... Seems they're forgetting they've still got another season after this one. Then they'll go back to their usual [****!!****] standard.

[****!!****] to the lot of 'em

#8
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Also, pretty funny that they're obviously still bothered about us, must know we're a threat that's right up their [****!!****].

#9
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Sing to Molly Malone


In Sarfend its shitty,
Where girls show their tittys,
I first set my eyes on Steve Tilson alone,
As he pushed his wheelbarrow
Through slums broad and narrow,
Crying, "Cocksuckers with mussels, I’ll have five, alive oh"!

Chorus:
I’ll have five, alive oh"! I’ll have five, alive oh"!
Crying, "Cocksuckers with mussels, I’ll have five, alive oh"!

Now he was a shitmonger,
And sure twas no wonder,
For so were his mother and father before,
And they each wheeled their barrow,
Through slums broad and narrow,
Crying, "Cocksuckers with mussels, I’ll have five, alive oh"!

Chorus:
I’ll have five, alive oh"! I’ll have five, alive oh"!
Crying, "Cocksuckers with mussels, I’ll have five, alive oh"!

He died of a fever,
And no one could save him,
And that was the end of Steve Tilson alone.
Now his ghost wheels his barrow,
Through streets broad and narrow,
Crying, "Cocksuckers with mussels, I’ll have five, alive oh"!

Chorus:
I’ll have five, alive oh"! I’ll have five, alive oh"!
Crying, "Cocksuckers with mussels, I’ll have five, alive oh"!

#10
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That was crap and not funny - the Southend geezer on the other hand made me laugh out loud! Gotta say he might be right though - Canvey is a dump innit??!!

#11
offline ken

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did you actually use the word 'innit'. you sad f*cker

#12
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That was crap and not funny - the Southend geezer on the other hand made me laugh out loud! Gotta say he might be right though - Canvey is a dump innit??!!
Was this a billericay or grays fan by any chance?

#13
offline THEROCK

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Quite amusing,but we are still in the conference and we will be ok,anyway even if we went down we would still get back up - And if a Grays fan did write this bless em,there confident of going up now - But one thing to remember Grays fans we didnt need Hornchurch to go tits up for us to win the Ryman !! YELLOWS..................

#14
offline A Non E Mouse

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Quote:
But one thing to remember Grays fans we didnt need Hornchurch to go tits up for us to win the Ryman !!


Absolutely spot on THEROCK <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I can see MOB going top 10! or perhaps not.....

Whats sad is that Southend did (and still do) rely on quite a few fans on the island to swell their ranks and put a few quid into their coffers!

They are only getting cocky because they are not in a relegation position - otherwise you wouldn't hear a peep out of them. <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/ignore.gif" alt="" />

As for Canvey being a dump - get real and look around! Just because you redesign Pier Hill doesn't mean that Southend is the new Mayfair on the Thames Estruary you muppets <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/boxing.gif" alt="" />

#15
offline YELLOW

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Probably a typical Grays chav who listens to that complete [censored] that masquerades as music!! Apologies to anybody on here who likes The Streets.

#16
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Apologies to anybody on here who likes The Streets.


Most of Grays live on the streets.

#17
offline ken

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the streets are truly truly terrible

#18
offline THEROCK

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Mind you if Grays go up i look forward to the new Burberry Home Kit!!....yellows!!!

#19
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But one thing to remember Grays fans we didnt need Hornchurch to go tits up for us to win the Ryman !! YELLOWS..................


Yeah, you only needed three attemps.

#20
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They only went and wiped me song off their site and they say we bite sad b%^&tards.

Either that or they dont like Molly Malone




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